Whenever I feel like getting a strange reaction from someone I don't know I give them an unsolicited compliment. A compliment you think, what's wrong with that? Well, you would be surprised at how hard it is for someone to take a compliment, or how good it feels to give one.
Try this sometime today; when you see someone, you don't know (in a parking lot, in a store, etc) and you notice something you like about them, tell them. For example say, "I really like the colors in your dress." "that's an awesome backpack, who makes that?" Those are pretty harmless and usually get a smile or a thank you.
If your feeling about more energetic about getting a reaction, say something like this, "You have beautiful eyes." "You have a great smile." Whoa, then people look at you like your some kinda weirdo. They kinda lean their head to the side and look at you from the corners of their eyes, maybe, maybe say thank you as they move away. Never recognizing that you are actually giving them a compliment.
I may be old fashioned in this regard but I like to give compliments because I have a hard time taking them myself. But I have gotten smart about it. So once you have tried one of the above unsolicited compliments, give a solicited compliment and you will get a completely different reaction. For example, as you are walking past someone, anyone you don't know, smile at them. Don't say anything, just smile. When they smile back, stop walking and as they come up say this, "Can I give you a compliment?" Instead of the head leaning to the side and looking from the corners of their eyes, their head will rock back a bit and they may even stop as well. When you have their attention say, "You have a great smile", or "Your eyes really sparkle when you smile." Then just continue walking in the direction you were going. Even if they have a terrible smile or they close their eyes when they smile, the point is your complimenting them. They will get a huge grin and noticealbly feel better about themselves and you will get a much more hearty thank you.
Think about yourself, when was the last time you got a compliment? Can't remember can you? We are more apt to remember the negative than the positive. Be a positive for someone today, its a triathletes imperative.
Its just a theory, but what's to lose by testing it?
Hey...Have a great day;)
Try this sometime today; when you see someone, you don't know (in a parking lot, in a store, etc) and you notice something you like about them, tell them. For example say, "I really like the colors in your dress." "that's an awesome backpack, who makes that?" Those are pretty harmless and usually get a smile or a thank you.
If your feeling about more energetic about getting a reaction, say something like this, "You have beautiful eyes." "You have a great smile." Whoa, then people look at you like your some kinda weirdo. They kinda lean their head to the side and look at you from the corners of their eyes, maybe, maybe say thank you as they move away. Never recognizing that you are actually giving them a compliment.
I may be old fashioned in this regard but I like to give compliments because I have a hard time taking them myself. But I have gotten smart about it. So once you have tried one of the above unsolicited compliments, give a solicited compliment and you will get a completely different reaction. For example, as you are walking past someone, anyone you don't know, smile at them. Don't say anything, just smile. When they smile back, stop walking and as they come up say this, "Can I give you a compliment?" Instead of the head leaning to the side and looking from the corners of their eyes, their head will rock back a bit and they may even stop as well. When you have their attention say, "You have a great smile", or "Your eyes really sparkle when you smile." Then just continue walking in the direction you were going. Even if they have a terrible smile or they close their eyes when they smile, the point is your complimenting them. They will get a huge grin and noticealbly feel better about themselves and you will get a much more hearty thank you.
Think about yourself, when was the last time you got a compliment? Can't remember can you? We are more apt to remember the negative than the positive. Be a positive for someone today, its a triathletes imperative.
Its just a theory, but what's to lose by testing it?
Hey...Have a great day;)
2 comments:
"That guy doesn't need any coffee."
I heard this as I walked away from the "School of Massage" volunteer tent at this morning's 10K/5K race this morning. You see, I'd just walked over, looked at all three voluneers, and one at a time (noticing their name tags)said "Thank you for coming out. We appreciate you." Then, I flashed a big smile.
I didn't mean for it to come across any other way than sincere; interesting what people do with compliments AND with thanks. Often I'm accused of being "overly optimistic." I s'pose people just don't know what to do with someone who is (as I try to be) intent, focused and present...whereever I am.
Important point Jason...and thank you. I know you are incredibly busy, teaching others how to not be as busy. Thanks for coming by the site.
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