Unwritten

I teased a holiday M-Dot for New Years and been too busy to get it done. My bad. Of course we all fall guilty of looking back and looking ahead and thinking of all the things done, undone or left unsaid.

When I dwell on such things I often find myself going to places of comfort. I like to go to Barnes and Noble. I often find myself in there. One of the things I like as much as the books and the coffee is the journals and sketchbooks. I don't know what it is about journals but there is something about buying a brand new one that is full of so much hope. Before I started CMS, long before and still today, I have detailed daily journals of my thoughts and dealings. It probably started with the amnesia and having to write everything down and then in the infantry when all good soldiers have pencil and paper.

When I see journals (notebooks, et al.) I consider all the things that will fill it. A marker of my past perhaps for a future autobiography. A recording of historical reckoning for generations of Commodore to come, full of newspaper clippings and photographs, thoughts on current affairs long forgotten. Affirmations. Prayers. Emotions and beseeches of my deepest mind too baring for this blog. Perhaps just something to describe workouts, lists of errands, jots for the next big idea. In any regard I see the potential in them to write in ways that while not as socially fulfilling as this blog, are just as rewarding.

I think my earlier post about finding a suitable new way to track my workouts in 2008 has stemmed from my longing for a new journal. I have lots of half written notebooks, journals, whatever, on my shelf but still I am drawn to a new beginning. The first touches of a blank slate. The idea of filling every page by my hand alone. The framing and setting of every page in a way that predates html and even type setting. I think longingly of monks in the middle ages who not only copied every word of the bible by hand but created such magnificent pictures and colors around the page.

So I bought a simple journal and placed it inside a distressed leather cover that has housed like sized plain journals for years. It fit perfectly. What will go in it ultimately is up to the future.

Happy New Year...

The Big Dozen

Mistress and I have been married 12 years today. Longest relationship I've ever had over three months. I couldn't have married a better woman for me and though like all marriages there are the idiosyncrasies and ups and downs, I have earned a long leash of trust from her. Even when I say I will be back from my workout in four hours and she says, "See you in five," and thats when I get home.

So what did we do for our anniversary? Well we sent Mo over to Grandmas for the night and we went to a high end steak place for dinner. $250 later, I felt pretty damn good and not full at all. Mistress felt a bit full and tipsy. I didn't drink any booze but created my own drink with orange juice, 7-up and cranberry juice, she had a some great Merlot.

The meal was okay, not spectacular. We had crab stuffed mushrooms that were massive and some ravioli for appetizers, she had a 8oz filet and I ordered a 18oz prime rib. It was bone in and I ate about 12 oz which was perfect but the thing was huge. It was thicker than my index finger is long, about three inches. The side for the main meal was a gnocchi, truffles and crab meat which I was not a huge fan of, but Mistress thought was tasty. For desert the restaurant gave us a free slice of very good triple chocolate cake with Happy Anniversary written in chocolate on the plate. Nice touch.

When we got done with dinner, we tried to make it to a movie, but we were in between all the showings. Instead we went home and watched a great movie I rented for her called Stardust. A little quirky but full of fun. A bit like Princess Bride which is her favorite movie.

Mo gets back soon. I am off to do the grocery's for the week and then a 1500 swim/ 30 mile bike brick. My legs are still beat from the great 60 I rode yesterday at 19.5 mph.

I'll have a new holiday M-Dot picture going up before New Year so stand by.

What's your log?

At the end of the year I could list my achievements and my failures for 2007, but I am more interested in learning from you. Specifically what logbooks do you use to track training? I have seen a few blogs with distance widgets that update from another site and there are so many others out there. I think we can all learn from the praise you give your system.

In the past, I have created my own computer spreadsheets, used calendars, day planners, bought workout logs, created my own workout journals in spiral notebooks. I still have them all so I can see workouts I did back twenty years ago. Sometimes I can't figure out my own handwriting for specific exercises but distances and times, sets, reps, weight, body fat, injuries, they're all there. These are the ultimate in ease and use. Just write down free hand everything you want in the style you want.

For the last few years I have been using Polar software on my pc and online with TrainingPeaks.com and enjoyed it. I think anyone who is looking for a comprehensive site for tracking exercise and nutrition would benefit from TP. It is highly customizable and they also cater to several different types of training, (running, cycling, triathlon, etc). The nutrition system in tedious but top notch. It costs about $10 a month.

That being said TP is a bit too much for me now and I am 'downgrading', not necessarily for price but for information, I don't use the nutrition side anymore and don't use half the inputs. The Polar software is for downloading my watches only. Right now I have a two week pass with WorkoutLog.com which could be just the thing for me but I am not sold on anything yet. I may just go back to spiral notebooks because I am not sure how to export all my TP workouts to save them and don't want to run into that in the future. Though I will admit several months ago I began pasting my daily workouts to MS Paint and saving in a folder in My Doc's. Its an extra 10-15 minutes of work a week but probably less than 20% of all my information on the site, not including nutrition I have added. But the nutrition is not as important to me.

If you tell me what system you use and enjoy I will certainly give them all a look. I think many of us would benefit from seeing what is so great about your training log. (If you see your program already listed, still jump in. Duplicates would only reinforce the effectiveness of the system.)

Fess Up

I will openly admit that until this morning I had no clue what the day was. Usually I track the days by the planned workout so that gives you a bit of an incite on whats been going on in my life. In all reality I ended last week, a strong week of practices, with legs revolting; cramping, seizing, spasming, weak. I got a massage on Friday and then went bell to bell until about noon on Christmas Eve getting my shopping done and last minute errands.

I would say the one thing that really stymied training over the weekend was the night I was up all night setting up the gift I got Mistress. I sat at my computer and after trial & error and searching forums for advice I finally got the player perfect by 0600. My issue was downloading and sorting several thousand pictures from my pc to the device, which was more my issue than the players. When I crawled into bed with Mo, eventually woke him up. So instead of getting Mistress, I cared for Mo while she got another couple hours of much needed sleep.

I admit I ate too much Christmas day. Funny thing is, I probably ate less this year than any other and was stuffed. I got some good gifts, books mostly, but a major award for my mind power, alas no deed to a bowling alley. Mo bought all of us Star Wars figures to play with him, smart kid. But Christmas day is about me taking care of my family and especially Mistress. Her gift turned out to be the hit of the day and no one could put it down.

Today its back to practices in general and specifically Ironman Arizona. Time to Step It Up.

Merry Christmas to All

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'" Luke 2:8-14 KJV

On Christmas morning at our house we are celebrating the birthday of Baby Jesus. Mo thought it was very important that we have a birthday cake for him. So he made one, almost all by himself. Mistress helped but all the labor was done by him. Then before he took all his medicines before bed, only four of them at night, we gathered around and sang Happy Birthday to baby Jesus.
I am also debuting not one but two holiday M-dot's. Hope you like them.

On Christmas morning our family has a special breakfast tradition started by my grandmother over 40 years ago. Mistress and I started our own family tradition about five years ago for dinner. Instead of the typical ham or turkey, a rehash of Thanksgiving, we started a Hawaiian luau, to honor my family's heritage. Yes you see a white leg above, but I am half Hawaiian on my fathers side. Mistress has learned to cook a pig in the Hawaiian style using my grandmothers recipes and we add pot stickers, exotic tropical fruit salad, beer battered coconut prawns, chicken lettuce wraps, coconut pudding, lomi salmon, among other south pacific cuisine rotated in and out each year. It's quite a feast. Enough to feed 3 Hawaiians or 15 howly's.

Merry Christmas my fine, fine friends. Merry Christmas to you all. You have no idea how much you have risen me up and given me hope and fellowship when I have needed it most.

Would you run for a quarter-million bucks?

Would you NOT eat fast food for a quarter-million bucks?

While watching the season finale last week of Biggest Loser, I realized that I had perverted my success by not translating it into something meaningful for the effort. It was not enough to lose weight on the show, you had to lose the most percentage of body weight in order to win $250,000.

The reality is that I really haven't processed the success of my toils in a way that focused every decision I make. These weren't alibi's, they were conscious sabotages that I used to derail my Chief Definite Aim or Overriding Goal, like going to Taco Bell instead of Subway. Creating these short term obstacles to my overall goal not only affected what I want to accomplish but there was no hard consequence in the long term.

To be completely committed to success, defined currently by meeting a weight goal and overall time at Ironman Arizona in April, I need a reward. I thought that the reward was weighing less and having a PR but really in the end, those are the completions of my goal, not the reward for the training and sacrifice. I certainly don't have a quarter-million dollars to give myself but there has to be something that could 'represent' winning a quarter-million dollars.

Something to meditate on through the end of the year.

PSA; Be Prepared

The news hounds have been talking about the dad and kids in California that got stuck in the woods for three days while trying to cut down a Christmas tree. Not too much it appears because every other word out of their mouth is humbly praising God and their faith carried them through. I am going to give you my thoughts on this survival story and then some tips for yourself at the end.

SHORT TANGENT: I think this hasn't got as much publicity as the Kim tragedy or the Mt. Hood tragedy because the news feels it okay report someone 'found' God in a foxhole, or use Him as a euphemism they just can't REALLY believe in religion or allow the name Jesus Christ used as a affirmation of His plan for your life.

But the point of this post is to mention the importance of the 6P's. Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance or a my platoon sergeant used to say to me, "Planning equals not getting killed, Mann."

First, the family did not tell anyone where they were going. "It was a nice day. They were just going to the woods to cut down a tree after church, they didn't know the weather would turn," you say? Look what happened. Things like this do happen and while it may seem foolish to tell people where your going all the time, its important to do so when you will be out of good communication or cell phone service.

Second, they had an ax/saw to cut the tree, but no matches or lighter. This really comes down to having just some basic thoughts about your environment. I have no illusions that most of us would carry a sleeping bag, some water, maybe a map and compass or a even a knife with us on a short trip to the woods. Even so the items would probably be left in the car. However, everyone understands that winter weather is unpredictable and can change rapidly. Carrying some basic survival gear takes up less than a jacket pocket. Just a simple fire would have increased their chances of being seen, improved their morale and kept them warm.

Staying on preparedness for a moment; be ready to spend a night outdoors, regardless of the time of day you leave and plan to return, every time you leave suburbia. Its easy to flag down a car on the side of a major freeway to change a tire, a bit more difficult if the main road is several miles away or the road is less traveled. Chances are 1/10 someone would stop anyway on a deserted road to help you.

Here are some tips I have for you and your next outing.

• Leave a note or voice mail of where your going and the when will be back. This can be as easy as telling your spouse the route your running and how long it will take. In the winter if you slip on some ice and break a wrist or sprain your ankle you may not get back in time and they can come looking. For longer solo trips or overnight trip in a group, give a NLT (No Later Than) time. For example: tell someone where your hiking and will be back by 4pm. If they don't hear from you by 8pm to call the closest police. Personal Note: When I swim up at Canyon Lake there is no phone service, as I drive up I tell Mistress when I will be back down the mountain and I call her as soon as service is available.

• Stand out without standing out. Its seems silly but you're not alone outdoors. If you do become lost it is probably on a path or in an area that people do frequent. So if SAR (Search And Rescue) is called to look for you its a good idea to give them some info to discern you from everybody else in the last week that has been where your at. For example: when you leave your car pull out a square of aluminum foil and step on it with your footwear, making an imprint of your sole. On the back, tape a piece of paper with your route or destination, the gear you have with you and what your going to do if you discover your lost; sit and wait or move to 'handrail', (like knowing that at any time if you walk east you will reach a stream). If SAR knows that your heading to Mt. Trundle, have a sleeping bag rated for the season, a means to make fire, cold weather clothing and a flashlight, they can create a better plan of finding you than searching an unknown grid. Personal Note: A friend of mine became lost on a mountain while out running. She had several pairs of the same shoe so I brought a pair to the SAR base camp with thoughts on her running routes. The were quickly able to find her shoe imprint leading off the main trail and found her by a stream with a broken foot, she needed to refill her bottle and slipped on moss. She would have been found eventually but was saved several hours earlier.
  

• Be Prepared. I know it sounds incredibly cliche and you might feel weird, but a small backpack or fanny pack can sustain you for days in freezing weather if you have the right gear with you. I won't belabor the obvious so I will link to the 10 Essentials. Personal Note: While I am often maligned for my ubiquitous backpack, I have most of the 10 on me at all times, with redundancies in many cases plus a few extra tricks I learned on my own. My EDC (EveryDay Carry) fits into a small 3x5 pouch and goes every where with me. Maybe I put up some photos of my stuff for you to see.
  

Most of you will have started scrolling by now, so how about ending this on a positive note, Christmas. Here are some last minute fantastic Christmas presents for someone you love. A car emergency kit. A small personal survival kit, my personal favorite. What guy doesn't like a simple compass. A medical kit. Headlamp or flashlight (personal fav's). Go to your local big box like Wal-Mart or Target and make a nice emergency kit for someone with a cheap backpack include; flashlight, small blanket or inexpensive sleeping bag, a bright colored rain poncho, a single bladed knife, generic multi tool, cheap transistor radio, compass, a waterproof match case or waterproof matches. Lighter. Duct tape. Extra batteries.

By the time you're done you'll have a second set of everything for yourself.

"Why do I let you in the kitchen?"

Mistress was a bit exasperated last night as you can see from here quote above.

She was putting some more Christmas things up in the front room and I was in the kitchen. I decided for our to dinner cut up some apples, veggies, turkey meat and cheese and also crisp up some bread to dip into hummus. Just light, hands on stuff.

I decided to toast the bread in the oven to do it all at once. I confirmed with Mistress to use the broil setting and she was very clear I needed to watch the bread to make sure it didn't burn and turn it over. I did pretty good...and then got busy for an extra 20 seconds. I ran to the oven, opened the door and WHOOSH, out came the flames and the smoke.

I am glad to say that we don't panic much in this house. Mo of course yelled, "Daddy started a fire mommy!" I started opening windows and hitting fan settings and Mistress ran to grab the baking soda. Once the fire was out she had to call the alarm company so they didn't send a unit out, which was the only real drama since she had misplaced the number.

The aforementioned title was her comment when she got off the phone.

I really thought I might get out of 2007 without starting a fire in the kitchen, but guess not. This makes, I believe, three years in a row, maybe four. And that might not seem too bad, one fire a year, except I only cook maybe five times a year and usually with supervision. Remember I am the guy whose has destroyed an entire kitchen by fire and charred some perfectly good cabinets in the past. My level of cooking is boiling water to add to my dehydrated camping meals or pouring a can into a pot. Everything else is pretty much between two pieces of bread.

Luckily I also bought wine for the dinner, which Mistress got open a bit to quickly, and there was plenty of remaining bread (albeit not toasted) to enjoy the dinner and ultimately have a good laugh. The fancy fudge brownie for their desert pretty much put me back to even with Mistress.

This morning I was told, I need to buy some oven cleaner and some latex gloves. Looks like I'm going in....

One Thousandth and fifty seventh rule of Triathlon

We all know rule #1 of Triathlon: "Don't try anything new in a race. "

Well if there isn't a rule for the next quote, I ask it be made rule #1057: "Don't call a team mate about getting into a lottery race when you know he's on his bike."

Here is the sictch'ia'tion that involves a certain team mate that shall remain nameless, but not link-less. On Saturday said unknown teammate did not show up for a scheduled bike workout after just days earlier proclaiming loudly he entered the fall IMAZ 08 race. He lives less than half a mile from the meet up. So several of us rode over and reminiscent of a gang of boys on BMX bikes we came to a skidded halt in front of his garage sale.

Without speaking to him and addressing only his wife, we asked if her husband could come out and play and when she eagerly said "Yes." We told him he had 15 minutes to get ready and we'd be back to get him.

What ensued was a great time for 25 miles of my 60 mile ride. He rode strong. We talked and fellowshipped. When we parted, he to go home to the warmth of his house and family and I to grind out another 25 miles of Spartan like training in 45 degree weather, he knew there was another ride/run brick the following morning at 9 a.m. And that is the key to this story and this rule.

Later that night the first list of lottery names rolled down for Escape From Alcatraz. Did the unnamed team mate who made the list, realizing the incredibly step hills and difficult race come to the workout the next morning? No.

Instead what many of us got were phone calls reminiscent of tele-marketing barrages speaking of his good fortune for which I heartily congratulate. But again I was riding a route that started a half mile from his house! Do you see my point here?

And lets be honest I am a bit jealous, I didn't make the first cut and being one of elevenity-eight people that he called about making the list only made the fact he did and didn't show up for the workout, FOR THE WORST EXCUSE EVER, only served to make my brick that much better. Maybe had he used THIS product the night before he would have made the ride.

After riding 60 miles on Saturday averaging 19 mph, 93 cadence with average HR of 131; On Sunday as I got his call I was riding 40 miles with similar gusto and then capped it off with a 50 minute 10k (8:02 pace, thanks to my rabbit Jeff).

So once again, congratulations to those that I know made the first cut. I am jealous and waiting for the final list in February to see if I made it. In the meantime, I am going to train with a Fever inside me and make every workout, everyday count for my upcoming races.

Because you just never know when Preparation meets Opportunity.

Of course he's sick

Mistress called from leaving the doctors. Mo has pneumonia, ear infection, sinus infection. Of course it was hard to hear her over the growling and roaring Mo was doing doing from the back seat with his animal puppets. Even his primary doctor reports as she can't help giggling from his antics in the office and his politeness with the nurses, "He is the happiest, sickest kid I see. His lungs are so full of fluid he shouldn't be upright, let alone flirting with my staff and playing with me."

Through all his illnesses and medical expenses we truly are blessed with a boy who has the best attitude in the world. You would never ever really know how bad it is. Part of the routine this weekend is mandatory nebulizing every three hours for 72 hours. At least at this age he can hold or will wear the mask himself during the day.

After our Christmas party last night, Mistress crawled into his bed and snuggled him through a couple treatments which he mostly slept through. He cried through the first one because he legs also hurt so while Mistress helped Mo and gave him soft touches to calm him down, I held a warm water bag on his legs. Mo has growing pains which I believe are still scientifically debated but almost every mother can attest too, and he has grown two inches in the last month so that is why he will cry and say his legs hurt. He's been complaining of them off and on for a couple years. Also explains why we have had to buy him all new pants and shoes in the last month.

I had to skip a 90 min ride yesterday. Had planned on it after getting home from the dinner, yes at midnight, but after helping with Mo I just wanted to sleep. Today and tomorrow's workouts should be on track.

Tonight I was invited to a private party through my triathlon store, Tribe Multisport, to this little bar downtown. I plan on going but I still have my concussion headaches about 5 days a week in the evenings and its still a hard to drive at night with all the lights hitting my eyes. So I may not go and also to help with Mo at level in this weekend at home.

Merry Christmas

All Work and No Play...

How many times has that been used as a title? Its been a long day, 16 hours at work, not including the 3 hours in prayer and mediation and daily rituals to get out the door with the Mighty Mo before work.

Today was to be a nice LSD 12 miles, but I was lucky to find a moment to get adjusted by Jeff my training partner and chiropractor. My neck was way outta whack from hitting my head on the pool bottom the day before. It took a lot of coaxing to get it to adjust back into alignment. But other than some mild head pain and bit of a kink still in my hip, I'm doing pretty good.

Its going to be tricky to fit the run in on Thursday, my normal rest day, since I will probably still be recovering from the long previous work day and our big company parties are that night celebrating our members. But I am going to try.

I have a fancy smancy banquet to attend Friday night. I'd love to tell you I am getting an award for best blog (no link on purpose) or the Common Man of the Year Award, but I have no idea what I'm going to be doing there. My partner is putting it on for our key employees and spouses and its costing about $30,000 for 60 people and he's not telling me anything about the itinerary. I better eat well and have an open bar because I am not impressed with it just being at a 5 Star resort in trendy north Scottsdale. I lived there for five years, color me not impressed.

Since I have blown my rest day on work, yeesh, the remainder of this week is primarily bike focused. If I get in all my practices between Thursday and Sunday I will get about 130 riding miles and 20 running miles. I have already banked (or bonked depending on how you look at it), all my swims this week.

Merry Christmas

Your just not going to believe this....

I met Mistress at her office to do my swim workout. She was going to coach me on flip turns. I have been doing them off and on at my usual pool but wanted some feedback. So, go to the pro.

See watched from the side and gave me some feedback. I was nervous as I had been practicing off a five foot wall and this was only three. Plus there wasn't the usual lane lines to judge off of. After a half dozen flip turns she told me she was very impressed. When this man's wife says she is impressed with something, I feel pretty good about it. And unfortunately like most men, a little cocky.

Thats when I hit my head on the bottom of the pool doing a flip turn.

I know.

I stood up, holding the top-right of my head and feeling the impact in my jaw, neck and upper back. An immediate headache appeared.

As I look up at Mistress at the edge of the pool she flailing her arms and mid sentence yelling at me, "...not even off a starting block! You're not even using a diving board! You're the only man I know that even swimming is dangerous to your head..."

I just had to laugh. With all we have been through with these traumatic head issues, she gets to see me hit my head in a pool. She finally calls me over and inspects where I am holding my head. "Well I don't see a bump. But with you that doesn't mean anything. Are you okay?"

I felt relatively okay and decided to try some more flip turns but I never completed another. A water aerobics class took up the lanes on the other end so no lap swimming, ergo no endurance workout.

Earlier I got in a great run of 6 miles averaging an 8:20 pace so the entire day wasn't shot.

Now I have popped a couple Tylenol PM and heading to bed. Hoping to stop the headache and muscle soreness I still feel on the right side of my back and neck.

You gotta love this ride...

Something nice

The weather has turned decidedly winter like, with almost three straight days of drizzle, wind and cold. Could be Seattle almost any day of the year but this is Phoenix.

There is something to be said about a dark night, listening to the rain fall in my backyard; the air temperature being 40 degrees and my jacuzzi temperature 104 degrees. Just soaking the days troubles away.

Life's pretty okay when that happens.

Too Human

A vendor walked into my office today bearing a gift. A tray of about 80 small cookies of bakery quality, all different types and flavors. Turns out said vendor spent 28 years as a baker before starting his current business. He made all the cookies at home, put them on a decorative clear serving plate and wrapped in festive translucent wrap with streamers.

I told him I would share these with Mistress, whom he also knows well, he knows her better than me, I must admit. Upon sharing with Mistress this information of our shared blessing, she asked me to wait until we got home so she could she the gift in all its magnificent glory.

But.....I just had to try one. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't when the thing is sitting there on your desk all big and all. It was begging me. Taunting me with its clear wrap and bright bows magnifying the lure of sugared confections.

But what of Mistress. Did not she also want to share in this Christmas bounty?

Out with a flick comes my smallest, sharpest knife. I'll make just a small incision of the wrap along the decorative tray. I would snatch a few precious snacks and use a little piece of tape to cover my deed.

Damn. These cookies are good!!!

The hole doubles in size before I am satiated, the seam carefully concealed in tape and tucked amongst the folds of clear wrapper. A right fine cloak and dagger operation I admit to myself. I also admit that the ease of my decision to secretly abscond with valuable booty would put me in an unfavorable light with The Mistress if she ever discovered my traitorous heart.

What is that? A voice in my head? No lower, in my stomach. My its late, almost lunch. I am too busy to leave right now but I should eat.

I'll cut along the same line and snatch just another couple morsels. Quite tasty those powdered ones but their all much higher on the plate now and the hole is too small. I'll make a...oops the knife slipped and the hole is much larger and jagged now. Oh well, time to fess up with an email and enjoy the sugary bliss of holiday cheer.

While I am sure I will feel some heat for this I know two things. One, I didn't lie and say they were just for me to begin with. Two...it's not chocolate. I would never attempt to do this feat with chocolate. Taking chocolate from Mistress is a hangin' O'fence in these parts.

That was that

To follow up on our first 'date' in many months, Mistress and I had a good night. We went to the mall where we did not eat at some giant chain restaurant but a great Mexican joint. Hit some stores and had some good conversations.

I have mentioned before that some tissue damage I got at my bike race last month has lingered around the back of my right knee. During a tough swim practice with lots of kick drills that day, it really tired the area out so we didn't wander aimlessly for hours, in fact I sat when i could.

The same night a storm came to the valley bringing lots of rain and wind and cold weather. Now look...Phoenix gets rain only a dozen days a year. Maybe only two or three that rain all night and into the morning, which is what happened this weekend. It usually a no-brainer to skip workouts on those wet mornings or go later when the roads are dry.

But I had a 60 miler on the calendar and only the morning to do it. Things went well for a while but while managing a wet turn the bike slipped out almost dumping me completely. I didn't fall but the suddenness of the correction wrenched my leg and stretched out that already deconditioned set of muscles behind my right knee.

So I rode in the cold, and the wet and my leg hurt. (I know...BIIIIIIGGGG whah, whah, whah from those north of Texas.) And my projected speed plummeted. But riding by myself allowed me to stop a few times to rub out my leg and go at my own pace.

Since getting home its been a managed care approach based on RICE. A little concerned about a ten miler run as my next training session. But it's been nice to just get some couch time after a long week.


Merry Christmas!!

Kind of feels like a race, at least my hearts beating fast

Life has been a whirlwind the last few years for Mistresses and I. Between the work, Mo's medical condition and the fact that he is almost five, my endurance training, all that, we really haven't gone out on a date as adults in a long, long time.

So Mo goes to grandmas for the night and we get to do...whatever. What do married couples do outside of the house without having to track a personable kid or have any other worries. Just two people who love each other and need to connect on a level that is not just shy of 4 feet tall and 50 pounds.

Kind of makes me nervous, like those mornings right before a race.

We're not young enough anymore to hit the bars and listen to bands. We don't, well I don't, dance.

Food is a given, someplace that doesn't serve fries or have a mascot would be preferred.

Movie? Maybe. We love movies but we can sit on the couch and not talk to each other when ever we want at home.

Window shop? I am not much for crowds but this is most likely how we will walk off dinner. All the decorations will be up and I haven't been in a mall in very long time. So that would be interesting.

But look. I mean, I'm not nuts. I still have a 60 mile bike scheduled for Saturday morning.

Taking the Pace out of the Case

I ended a long day of work Wednesday with a concussion headache and a dead phone after dozens of texts and calls. All that was left before me was a short, easy run; 3-4 miles just to see how the legs felt after the marathon just a couple days before. I told Mistress I would call back in no more than 45 minutes, tossed the phone in the car and headed out.

It must have been the cool weather and the pretty lights because at 3 miles I was averaging less than nine minutes a mile with a low RPE and no where near my car. So I turned around. While coming up to an intersection I realized I was exactly five miles into my run and one mile from my car. Now the nice thing about suburban sprawl here is that most major intersections are exactly one straight mile apart. At night with the stoplights, its presents a perfect sight line for distance to the next intersection.

With several feet before the crosswalk and the light in my favor, I opened up the case I had kept my 'all out' in while doing Zone 2 base training and just ran as hard as I could for one mile.

At first it seemed frantic. I focused on the stoplight up ahead of me and just willed myself closer as fast as I could. I looked at the pace on my watch, it read 7:04 per mile. I surged. A few hundred yards further I looked again, my pace was 6:48. Elation. The lights looks close in the cold air but I was not fooled; I had a half mile to go. I stole another look and the pace read 6:39. Unbelievable! I had to look closely to see my heart rate on my pumping arm and it was 180 bpm. Closer. Closer. Closer I came to the lights of my finish line. 6:20 reads my pace. Pumping my arms. Clawing the ground with my forefoot like a cougar grabbing dirt as it chases its prey. The light is right there in front of me. I ran the whole sixth mile as hard as I could after finishing a marathon Sunday and already running five miles this night.

A beep on my watch signals one more mile ran and I slow myself down, peeling into an empty parking lot. My split read 6:47.

A pumped fist, a prayer to God and an impromptu jig follows as I walk to my car gasping for air. Completely satisfied. I have a long way to go and a bumpy road ahead of me, but today was just one more reason to believe in myself.

Top 100 hits

It all comes down to the next 100 days of perfect execution. That is all I have left to put deposits in my Bank of Ironman. After that is a couple key workouts and then one big withdrawal for Arizona.

Two winters ago I wrote about The Fever. Last winter I wrote about my success at Florida. This year I write about Belief. I believe I can do my best at this race if I do not take for granted the opportunities I have been given in this life and the preparation I have given myself. If I don't distract myself or delude myself I know that I am capable of more than I have seen.

There are many obstacles in my way. I have no illusions of my limiters and liabilities. But I also know the untapped potential in me. All it takes is one day at a time of quality effort and focus totaling 100 days in all.

As I have written before, Arizona is a funny place. While the rest of the country is enjoying their winters and off-seasons, I will be running 15-20 miles at a pop and riding outdoor century's every other weekend it will seem. I have never been more prepared for as much load as I will be handling. I believe in myself and I believe in my mentors and I believe, I believe, I BELIEVE, that this race will be much different that the others.

Race Report #2 2008: Tucson Marathon 2007

Sometimes a race is more important than a finishing medal.

Part of my desire to make my first two races of the 2008 season non-competitive, is because I felt that I had to reconnect with the heart of endurance sport. I spent so much time training for Ironmans and PR's that it became all about me. All about me beating the clock and beating my team mates and others on the course.

John (an Ironman), Dan (an Ironman) and myself, all traveled to Tucson for John to PR the marathon. Dan drove all the over from San Diego.

John is a capable swimmer and cyclist, yet he falls apart on the run. In fact he doesn't run. At his Ironman he calculated exactly what pace he had to walk to finish before midnight and did exactly that, with the best attitude I saw the entire time on the course. So he has been training, through some pretty scary physical issues, to at some point PR the marathon distance. The Tucson marathon with its mostly downhill course provided the right impetuous for him. Dan and I signed on as his personal race support on the course.

The expo was small but fun. I love expos. But I left mostly empty hand because the PF Chang expo is massive and in just a few weeks. I met some locals that had also came down which always makes the time more fun. Later that night at Olive Garden I saw even more locals and it was like a dinner party. Triathletes for the most part are such fun loving people that when all they have to do is one of the three events, its very lighthearted.

The day started with freezingly could temps. At least to me. I have I must admit become a wuss for cold weather. I love cold inclimate weather but the prospect of standing in it for 90 minutes in just running shorts and tee-shirt before a race...forget it. So I wore three layers of clothing. The top most layer being a set of sweats that were tossed for donation after serving their purpose.

John was adamant about a 2:1 run/walk pace and started it immediately. Right off the bat because this is a small race, the three of us were in the very back.

Dan and I have met in the past, many times, but really bonded over the weekend. Great guy. Being Johns brother he was able to bring a level of motivation that I could not. He promised us a funny joke that he would tell us 500 times. Well he may have only said it 100 times but because he kept changing the punchline and after all the hours out there, it never got boring.

By 13.1 miles, John was in poor shape. We had moved off the 2:1 program for "small victory's", running to signs and landmarks ahead then walking a spell. There was wobble in the walk, pain in the knees, lots of sweating. But we kept him motivated and hydrated. To Johns immense credit he never once voiced negative concerns or said he wanted to stop. He took to heart my personal mantra of, "Ever Forward". Not once did he stop unless it was to perform some sort of maintenance such as stripping off layers of clothing or apply a bandaid or Vaseline to hot spots and never for long. Dan and I were able to run ahead to aid stations to fill bottles, we also took turns up front setting the pace or staying back to talk John through the effort.

He had a great streak between miles 14 and 20. He never failed to complete whatever distance we laid before him. At mile 18 the we saw the only spectators we had seen in hours. Dan ran blindly forward to thank them for their enthusiasm and patience as he had with all volunteers and spectators this day. As we got closer I realized they were friends. Tony and his finance must have waited a long time for us. Tony is a member of AZTRICLUB. John was quite moved by this selfless act. God I love this sport.

By 20 miles however, the grime reality was that we were not going to make the six hour race cut off in time. Undeterred we moved ever forward. The volunteers had long abandoned their stations but all the fluids remained. An oasis in the desert. But all thing must come to an end and the cones were all picked up and traffic reopened so for several miles we were forced to run on sidewalks and dirt paths.

When we finally got to the finish line, or the proximity of the finish line, we were warmly greeted by those that remained, had our chips removed and even received medals for our effort. How unexpected!! We were showered with iced drinks and remaining food, actually leaving with boxes of unopened finish line food.

I must say that I felt great. Though I had the expected soreness of being on my feet for that long, I had no blisters, no pains, no hot spots that I didn't already have before the race. The longest marathon I have ever run and maybe, quite possibly the most fun I have had in race. I was able to thank every single volunteer, support person and spectator. It was the final filling of my humble cup before the looming race season gets into full swing. I sought to learn the humility that one needs before undertaking the Heroes Journey described by Joesph Campbell and in my last two events I did exactly that.

In the end, the marathon ended the the only way the three of us knew it would. Three friends, Ironman's all, tucking into big plates of food and tall beers rehashing a long day of running with some laughing, some joshing and one last telling of a long tired joke.

Oh yeah, John PR'd the marathon by 40 minutes.

Oh, no problem...

Naturally, as most of you have followed lately I have had some ups and downs. Concussion followed by lack of training, then a 109 mile cycling event, recover with running 23 miles in two days, then a bit of a relapse mentally and now to top it all off, a marathon this weekend.

It's a life.

It's also the strangest month of training before a marathon I've ever done. The good thing is that deep down, I know I own this distance. I have the base for it. Also I have no pressure and no expectations. I am running with John my training partner and Ironman, and his brother Dan who is also an Ironman who just finished Florida after getting a diagnosis of cancer this year.

John has never 'run' a marathon, though is an Ironman. He got off the bike and left T2 with his massive brain (he's a genius) knowing that if he averaged 17 minute miles he would finish before midnight. And he did. Also with the best attitude during the marathon of anyone else I knew that day.

So we are running the Tucson marathon this weekend. Slooooooooowly. I am the rabbit. My rabbit like pace? About 12:30 per mile. Which for a stand alone mary, is a bit slower than my normal pace, but in perspective, I averaged only modestly faster at IMFL.

Which is why I am really not struggling mentally with this event. The one thing an Ironman does is provide clarity to endurance. When your the slowest swimmer in your group but realize you still beat the IM cut off by fifty minutes, thats okay. When I saw that even with a viral infection in my lungs I still finished the IM bike averaging like 13 mph, I am really not afraid of riding a century as a stand alone event.

I consider running my strongest event, not from speed but from knowledge and base. Yes a sub 4:30 marathon is great and about my normal Z2 training pace. But I did 5:30 at IMFL. But I have also run a 3:29 in the Army.

I look forward to this weekend. Running is fun. Running with Friends...funner.

Forget the straps, wheres my head?

I still have not found any of the three missing Polar HR straps that I was looking for the other day. The good news is that as a formerly sponsored athlete by Polar, I was going through that gear and found a brand new HR strap tucked into one of the watch boxes. Horrah!!!!

Still down three, but now up one. Go figure.

Yesterday started as a good day. Schedule was just one meeting and some follow ups. Had food. Had fluids. By early evening I was driving in a daze, unaware of where I was or how to get home. What happened???

I started to get a headache around mid day, while still in the meeting, pretty much the same debilitating ones I got with my concussion a few weeks back. I started to blink repeatably again. But I then drove to my next appointment and remember finishing that up and leaving about 4:30pm thinking I had to fill up my gas tank.

Next thing I know I have a low gas tank alarm go off and its over an hour later. The headache is worse than ever. But what did I do while I was driving around? I have no clue.

I called Mistress and gave her a heads up. For 20 minutes I drove around looking for an on-ramp to the freeway and ended up driving up to one of my clubs. The distance from where I was at 4:30 and where I ended up at 6:15 is about 8 miles of driving in an area I am normally very familiar with. But based on my gas tank I must have driven around 35 miles.

So I filled up with gas and went into the club and sat down for a while talking to employees. After about an hour, some soda and sugar and lots of advil, I drove home pretty wiped out.

I can only guess that my actions for that time I was driving was much like a sleepwalker. I obviously didn't have any drama to push me out of whatever state I was in, but I certainly didn't have the wherewithal to just pull over or recognize where I was at.

Strange....

Straps

It's a question I have asked myself a hundred times in the last three days.

"How can I lose three Polar heart rate straps?"

How indeed....

Tear the house apart. Check.
Tear the garage apart. Check.
Tear the car apart. Check.

Well, whereever I find a strap(s) it will be the last place I check.

It's Official....two dates in Tempe

Second Ford Ironman Race for Arizona in 2008

TEMPE, AZ - North America Sports is pleased to announce the addition of a second Ford Ironman Arizona Race to their 2008 event schedule. The city of Tempe and the Salt River Pima Maricopa Indian Community will again partner with NA Sports to host a Ford Ironman Arizona event on November 23, 2008.

The fall event will become the permanent date for this event going forward to 2009 and beyond. This change has been in the planning stages for some time, some of the reasons for the change include avoiding the gusty winds and hot weather that have challenged athletes in the first three years of the race and scheduling issues with all parties involved.

“Tempe is excited to partner with North America Sports, and the Salt River Pima Maricopa Indian Community to make Ironman Triathlon History. Two Ironman Arizona races in one year - 2008 will be an amazing year for our events!” said Travis Dray, Dept. Director of Parks and Rec, for the City of Tempe, and Ford Ironman Arizona finisher.

North America Sports will be holding events on both dates in 2008 to get the fall fixture into the race and community calendars. The event will also allow them to offer the 2009 Ford Ironman World Championship qualifying slots, which without this second event would be lost to the athletes on the racing schedule for the 2009 qualifying year. This date will also allow northern athletes, who have found the early date a training challenge, a chance to compete in this great event.

Race Director for both Tempe events, Paul Huddle stated, “The transition of the Ford Ironman Arizona to November is a testament to the commitment of all parties involved to the long term success of the event, in finding it a permanent ‘home’ in the calendar of all involved. Hosting two Ironman events in a year, is a big undertaking, and the enthusiasm of the Salt River Pima Maricopa Indian Community and the City of Tempe is huge vote of confidence.”

The April 2008 Ford Ironman Arizona event is sold out and general entry for the November 2008 will open, through the race site, www.ironmanarizona.com on Monday November 26th at 9 am PST/ 12 noon ET. It is expected that there will be strong demand for the entry spots to the race and that it will fill quickly. To obtain further information about the event or to volunteer, please go to the race website.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody

I can sincerely say that my life is healthier and more fulfilled with you in my life. Thank you for stopping by and reading about my battle with Common Man Syndrome on a regular basis. I appreciate all your comments and concerns and as most of you know, I try to respond to every comment.

You have made my Thanksgiving Day a day of humble remembrance of so many things but mostly for being with me in this thing called life. I wish I could sit down and eat with every single one of you today, but know that all of you will be in my thoughts as I eat with my family.

Swimmingly

Had a great swim yesterday. I worked off a speed set workout and was quite surprised that the T-Pace that I established almost four months ago (2:06 per 100 yds) is no longer applicable.

While I was consistently swimming 1:53 x 100yds yesterday, I have moved my T-Pace to 2:00 to ensure that I don't rush my strokes. At 2:00 per 100 yds. that puts me at 85 minutes per Iron-swim which is under my 90 minute deadline. With several months to go, I am hoping I can continue to improve and drop time.

Today I celebrate that my fastest 100 yard pool swim is 10% faster than earlier this year. Today I celebrate that I have lowered my T-Pace by 5% for training.

To celebrate I will run 8 miles today. Turns out in ten days I have a marathon to run and haven't run since my head injury two weeks ago. Oops. If everything goes well today then I will run 16 miles on Friday. I have never tapered for a marathon this way and certainly don't recommend it. But I have a big base in my running and this is another supported training run, not mentally a race for me which takes some of the pressure off.

Happy Thanksgiving! I give thanks to all of you who have meant so much to me this year.

Race Report #1 2008: El Tour de Tucson Ride

This first event of the season was not so much a race as a me being a rabbit for a good friend in a 109 mile charity ride. I figured it was a good shakedown for me to start the new season. As it turned out between Mistress catching a cold, supporting friends for the Soma 1/2 Ironman and my concussion, I lost about 250 miles of riding in three weeks and went from being highly prepared to just wanting to keep myself an honest rabbit, finishing one wheel ahead of my friend.

It was to be miserably cold on race morning and as my father, godfather, Doug and myself exited our hotel for a meal the night before the ride and I had two things on my mind; my splitting concussion headache and find a cheap sweatshirt to wear while waiting for the start. (I should have learned from Ironman Florida, be prepared for morning chill with a throwaway top.) I was surprised that just sitting in the back of the vehicle as we drove around that I was being assaulted visually, my eyes still impaired from my latest head injury. We all retired to our room later that night with full bellies and me with a $9 XL green sweatshirt courtesy of Walgreens.

Race morning found Doug and I at the start line 2 hours ahead of time. As a charity ride the waves are set up for projected finish times and when one chute becomes to full they force you back with slower riders. We ended up being seeded right behind the quicker riders boxed out of the faster group ahead.

As we started, I mentally defaulted to riding without draft, after a couple miles I realized I could draft and picked up amazing time and speed, covering the first quarter of the course around 19 mph. Well above our projection.

There are two areas where cyclists must dismount and portage their bike across dry sandy rivers. During the first such carry at mile 8, my speedplay cleat became damaged and it took ten minutes for me to reclip into my pedals. For the remainder of the event it was a constant challenge to take my foot off the bike without wrenching my ankle. Unfortunately this foreshadowed a similar fate to my left cleat during the next portage around 50 miles and then I simply tried to not get off the bike at all.

Doug and I did very well staying together up until the point of the second portage. My only lag with him was when my HR watch showed full memory one hour in and I had to delete some files before restarting, one of the many times I wished my aero bars were attached. He picked up a good draft and I needed to bust out to catch up.

After the second portage rolling hills came into play and I found I could attack them quite well. Doug kept a reasonable pace, as we had been told the hills in the later section were not to be trifled with. He found easy company along the way so we adapted our strategy so that I would time trial the five to seven miles between aid stations and wait for him then repeat. This we continued to do, with me waiting about ten minutes at each station until mile 72 where I again had plenty of time to refill my bottles, empty my bladder and nibble on food until Doug arrived.

We were told at this point with 37 miles left that the course was essentially played out and there would be no more hills. I looked at the watch and then at Doug. I felt really good after 72 miles. Strong. I wanted to beat 7 hours of course time and had less than 90 minutes to do it. We talked, shook hands and parted ways.

Doug had made an interesting point earlier in our ride. People were afraid of speed. They dawdled along at slow speeds and low cadence. Our drafts, while helpful to conserve energy, slowed us down considerably. This is not a race. It is not a time trail from T1 to T2. Its a charity ride with 10,000 cyclists. It blew my mind that they didn't stand on the road and hand out bottles of water. You had to stop at basically a party and the uber-gracious and genial volunteers filled you up by pitchers. There was not energy/calorie drink handed out. A very laid back race. So when I parted ways with Doug with 37 miles left, I really wanted to fly.

And I flew.

The next hour I covered 27 miles. I reached speeds, without drafting, of 31, 32 miles per hour. I hit 36 mph as my fastest speed. It is the greatest hour of cycling (and without aero bars) I have ever had. And I loved every minute of it.

At mile 74, just past our parting, the last group of cyclists entered the course for their 35 mile ride. There were several distances one could ride, 109 miles the longest, 35 the shortest. At this point I was doing around 30 mph and passing people doing half that speed. One cyclist came up to me and asked me about the color of my bib, I didn't get it at the time, but people in the shortest ride had blue bibs and people in my wave had white. All I got from him was that he was impressed I was riding that fast that far into my event.

I would sometimes grab onto a draft line, as my HR was hitting around 181, this allowed me to drop HR and still keep a decent speed. Then I would bust out in a flurry of high cadence and blow past the line.

During one such time that I was moving off the line, around 28 mph. I was passing people and a van was approaching from ahead. A cyclist looked over his shoulder at me and yelled, "car" but I didn't need to slow, I kept my speed high to pass once the van moved by. The cyclist looked back at me again and yelled, "Car...dude your wheels are so loud I thought you were a car!" I smiled and blew by. That was cool.

I ended up being stuck at a couple of lights, the police by now were doing their best to keep traffic stops to a minimum and was resigned that my fantastic hour of cycling was not going to put me under the 7 hour course time. So I slowed down and just tried to keep all the systems running smoothly.

It was difficult to unclip either foot and the wrenching action of my ankle did not allow me to be gentle with my legs. I cramped pretty hard at a couple of the intersections waiting to be waived through.

Another cyclist approached me and said the biggest, most awesome statement I have ever got in endurance racing. He obviously had seen the M-Dot tattoo on my calf and said, "Did you do the Ironman." I replied, "Yeah." His response was, "You're one bad motherfucker...that's a compliment."

I finished the course around 7:15, I didn't delete enough memory from my watch, which kept showing 'Full Memory', so stopped looking at it with 9 miles to go. My bike computer ride time is just over 6 hours. That shows how much time was spent at aid stations hanging out. Doug finished about a half hour later with a big smile and full of pride. He did great. I am so happy he was able to coax me into this ride as my first of the new season. It had been on my radar for years and it did not disappoint.

Several minutes after finishing I definitely felt I could run, but was glad I didn't have to. Instead I had a couple beers, a couple cokes and a medal around a neck; reward for a good day of training.

Finished el tour de tucson. Awesome 110 miles. Ready to run. But beer calls its siren song.

Ping.

Following Follow Up

Well the good news is that I am still a 'High Functioning Idiot'. That's a technical term I am sure.

The doctor said, regarding my tests, that my current concussion and my previous, "quite remarkable history of head injury" does not show any signs of dementia or raise concerns of a degradation of mental capacity from this point. Mistress was pleased to hear that. She was pleased to hear most of what was said.

What caused me some irritation was this talk of depression and perhaps talking medication for that. He would always come back remarking about my ability to cope and function after all that has happened to my head and that depression can be a symptom of repetitive TBI.

After a few of these comments I just had to say, "Look. I know each day is blessing for me. I know I 'm only supposed to be functional 3rd grader. That I should not be married to a wonderful woman and instead being cared for by my parents for the rest of my life. That I should barely be able to walk normally let alone train and compete in Ironman races. I know all that. But I demand more of myself than where I am at right now. I am hard on myself because I expect more of myself. I hold myself to a higher level of expectation because I know how easy it would be for me to be just a common man."

"I think it is normal to be bummed about missing a workout or not meeting expectations in life or work or training. But I am not depressed about it for days on end. My job is all about attention to detail. I own a business that I think should be doing a hell of a lot better than it is right now and yeah that can bum anyone out from time to time."

The doctor asked me a good question. "What is your definition of depression?"

I said after some thought, "I don't know. I don't know because I don't see myself as depressed. Maybe its a fictional description. My illustration of depression is from movies and tv, and I certainly don't fit those prototypes. Sure there are days I don't want to leave the house and just sit on the couch and read or watch movies but I don't lock myself in my room and not come out or stay in bed all day. I don't miss work because life is too hard or not take care of basic hygiene. I don't contemplate hurting myself or act in a manner that pushes away people who love me."

The doctor and Mistress had some talk about my response and my reaction to missing workouts or eating poorly and he asked me another question. "Are you hard on yourself if you don't meet your expectations? Is it okay to not race well and just enjoy the process of the training?"

"Of course," I said. "But if I miss some key workouts I am not going to use that to alibi a poor race. Obstacles face us all the time in life, it doesn't give anyone the right to use that as an excuse to not give it your all at what we do. Its not okay to be unprepared for something and then indignant when there's consequences when doesn't go right."

"I have missed some key bike rides the last three weeks and have an important bike race this weekend. This concussion has not helped my mind or my preparation. I have gone from feeling over prepared to just wanting to finish with a smile on my face and I am okay with that. But I am not going to just not do the race. Or just not give it my best out there. Races, like life, are about overcoming, about finding a way, about having options, about not being a victim."

While I was at conflict with some of what was said, I feel that what I was really interested in, the coping mechanisms and ongoing strategy work, were not being seen as something I really wanted to do. Even as we left Mistress was asking me again if I was interested in some coping therapy or what I have been calling cognitive therapy.

I told her I certainly am. I am not interested in discussing something that I don't believe is helpful to me, (i.e. overemphasis of depression or taking depression medications) but very interested for example in being able to find solutions to get around using the wrong Subject or Noun in a number of my daily conversations. Its frustrating to say to someone, "My keys are in the refrigerator." When I am really trying to say, "The keys are on my desk."

In the end, I am not surprised by the results. Not relieved either. Mistress on the other hand is happy that this last hit to the head hasn't put me closer to becoming a 'vegetable'. I was a bit miffed to hear that the effects of a concussion can last for a couple of months. That didn't help my attitude towards the constant headaches and extra sleeping I am doing every day. I figured about a week. Oh well.

I am a bit flummoxed about how so little of the initial conversations with the two doctors, note taking and testing was spent discussing or discovering depression yet so much of the results today had that word in it. Not that the results showed I am depressed, or I see myself as depressed, but that Mistress had questions about my attitude after not meeting my expectations during our original meeting with a cognitive therapist a few months back. Now it seems treatment for it might be a good thing.

So maybe I am too hard on myself. Is it that uncommon in these days to have big goals and do everything possible even through adversity to accomplish them? Maybe it is. But if being depressed means I am disappointed in my achievements and that helps me to do better the next time I attempt something, (like say trying to beat my time in a race) then I will accept that. I would rather be depressed about my efforts many times and yet ultimately reach my goal and be extremely happy in the end, than be constantly happy about accomplishing nothing.

In the end while I didn't agree with all that was said about my mental state, I was happy that most of it came back with me quite average in my results. A good baseline with which to test against in the future if need be and a modest plan to help me out.

I probably don't need a helmet for things like 4x4ing in SUV's, or short course bouldering or going through modest rapids while fishing. And although I didn't ask, I suppose the answer would have been, "It wouldn't hurt." I still may start a trend. Its good insurance.

Follow Up

This afternoon Mistress and I have my follow up at the neurologists. It won't be a long meeting, less than a hour, but I am hoping it sets up my base line for future testing.

I have no idea what will occur but I am hoping the follow up will include a strategy with a cognitive therapist to reset my routines.

After this last concussion, its quite apparent that my neural paths are not remembering things correctly on normal, unconscious routines.

Will follow up with you fine people. Tomorrow I travel to Tuck-san for the ride.

Fall Arizona Ironman Announced

he East Valley (Tempe, AZ) is likely to host two editions of the Ford Ironman Triathlon next year as race transitions from a springtime slot to the fall.

The first Arizona race is set for April 13, which is in the early portion of the 2007-08 Ironman season.

The second Arizona race is envisioned for sometime in November 2008, which potentially could make it the first race of the 2008-09 season.

Then in 2009 and thereafter, the race would be an annual fall event, said Travis Dray, deputy director for the Tempe Parks and Recreation Department.

The Arizona race is one of several qualifying events for the annual Ironman World Championship in Hawaii, so the spring Arizona race would serve as a qualifier for the 2007-08 championship race, while the fall Arizona race would be a qualifier for the 2008-09 championship.

The championship is held annually in Kona, Hawaii, in October.

Race organizers want to shift the Arizona race to loosen the international Ironman race circuit during the spring, and to avoid gusty winds and high temperature that triathletes have confronted since the Arizona race joined the schedule in 2005.

“It’s been extremely, extremely windy and hot,” Dray said.

“They’re saying it’s actually been tougher conditions than they’ve faced in Hawaii. It’s weird, but it’s actually true,” he said.

The Arizona race usually is sandwiched between races in California and Florida.

Like all Ironman triathlons, the grueling Arizona race is comprised of three endurance events -- a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and a 26.2-mile run. The Arizona version is centered around Tempe Town Lake.

The swim portion takes competitors through the man-made lake in the Salt River wash. The bike route leads racers through three loops on the Beeline Highway mostly in the Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community. The marathon portion takes runners along three laps of the lake.

Several details still need to be approved before the changes go into place, Dray said.

Tribal leaders approved the concept of a November race last week, but not a particular date, Dray said. The weekend before Thanksgiving appears to be emerging as the favorite, he said.

Tribal officials could not be reached for comment.

Furthermore, race organizers and the Tempe City Council would have to approve the switch, Dray said.

Despite its current slot on the Ironman schedule and the April weather, the Arizona race has been popular with endurance athletes, drawing about 2,000 competitors each year.

The race’s organizers, North American Sports of Boulder, Colo., describe it this way on their Web site: “This event has enjoyed three very successful years and is becoming increasingly popular as an early-season Ironman. Ford Ironman Arizona takes place in Tempe and the surrounding areas which is home to a large triathlon community”

North American Sports executives could not be reached for comment Tuesday.

Flipping Pies

I got an email from a friend, a personal trainer, who was sending out his defensive strategies for Thanksgiving. He asked for some feedback on what has worked for us receiving the message and he would share them with everyone else.

Here was my contribution. I am interested in yours...

I think a lot of families remember us (guys in particular) as “ravenous, eating contest with Uncle Bob teenagers”, not the triathletes we are today. It takes supreme effort to maintain control at the family gathering but I always treat the snack table as a run aid station. I don’t stand at the table I walk or run through. I grab something to drink, something to nibble in one hand and then gone, just like a race.

During the meal, just try to stay under the radar. Make the plate look full by spreading everything around.

After all that effort to maintain control during the meal it can all fall apart at the end when we leave. Everyone is offering leftovers and that’s when you ‘give in’. Ask everyone else to take their share first and then take everything offered, especially slices of pie and cake. Don’t hold back. You will get claps on the back for finally indulging yourself as you walk out the door loaded down.

Then as soon as you pull into the driveway, throw it all in the garbage can beside your house. Every last bite. You don’t eat all the calories and your family will think they finally broke you down.

Back on the Trainer

Well last night I did 90 minutes on the trainer, on my road bike, with no headaches, no body aches. Good sign.

You would think, I would think, that a 'simple' concussion would run its course within a week. Yet here I am day 7 still not sure how much longer I will sleep than normal and not really sure what is going to come out of my mouth.

My normal 6 hours of sleep is still in the 7.5 or more range. I have not mollified any one person today with the words coming out of my mouth but I have certainly startled some of our new employees going through our university in the room next door with humor and language more akin to my time in the jungle than my position within the business they are joining.

Today I am not so much worried about the sleep and the impulsivity of my language as I am about my unconscious eating. Normally kept in check with my willpower, that vital energy is now directed to other functions and I could eat for hours and never feel full. I have easily put on weight in the last week.

At least the race this weekend has focused my nutrition better and it should pull me through this last few days before hopefully a complete recovery.

And yes I may be putting a nice helmet on my Christmas this year.

Follibles and Fixes

Its been a catch up day today. Finally getting up above the water line on missed work from last week. I have finally started to interact with the staff again and most knew of my concussion and were interested in my progress. In a couple of funny moments today; I looked over at the woman I share an office with to ask her a question, I stared at her for a several seconds and she asked me, "Your looking at me funny, do you want something?" I replied, "I can't remember your name." Then we both started laughing. A bit later I walked by one of the women administrators and said, "You look tired." Based on the look she gave me, I am guessing she wasn't.

I did ride yesterday. I left the house early to take my time driving to the meet up. Stopped off to get a cup of coffee at a gas station. As I left I almost drove straight into a gas pump. Lucky for me I swerved just in time.

Mistress didn't want me riding alone, for good reason, but everyone is in off season mode so it was hard to get any takers. I managed one buddy for one loop of 25 miles but I needed 50 at least. So I drove home to do the last half of the ride on the trainer after I did the grocery shopping with Mo. Instead I fell asleep for three hours when I got back from the store. Shocked the sh*t outta me as do not take naps. Shocked Mistress too. Needless to say I didn't ride.

With my first event of the year coming up this weekend, the 109 mile El Tour de Tucson cycling event, I am working a modest schedule of single day workouts and focusing on cycling to get my strength and flexibility back up on the bike.

Half way there

Only six hours of testing and all is done. Its hard to believe how such simple questions can toss you for a loop. Unfortunately there was not enough time to go through results so I have to wait till next week.

I have tried a couple of times to explain in this paragraph what I did today. The testing was long, somewhat boring. I missed some obvious things.

I look forward to trying to get some training done this weekend.

See you on the flip side.

Test day

Mistress was able to move up my neurology appointment to this morning. She is not sure if this is just a meet & greet or the whole day of testing I am supposed to do.

I do feel better this morning. Of course I haven't left the house yet so we will see how the driving in rush hour goes. Lucky me I get to follow it all the way downtown and the snowbirds are back clogging the roads. Whether its my head or the other drivers, I swear people are swerving into my lane trying to merge where I am at and swerving back at the last minute when they see a car driving there.

This week has been an obvious bust in training. The swimming and running have been going great its the cycling that is concerning me. I have my first event next week and its a 109 mile bike. I am supposed to get 90 in this weekend and it would surely build my confidence after this week but in speaking with training mentors I am only shooting for 50 miles or 3 hours riding total. Hard to say how the workout is going to go at that point.

Will probably post later tonight when I get home from the doctors.

When will it be over

I am functioning, but not functional.

My freaking right eye will. not. stop. blinking.

And I am tired.

And. I am still a bit slow on the draw.

After 48 hours you would think I would be completely recovered. But alas that is not the case. Yesterday and now today I am leaving early to work from home. I am also trying to not drive in any rush hour traffic.

Thanks again to everyone who has left me comments. I really appreciate them and responded to around 30 yesterday when I was up. I do try to respond to every comment I get.

Still Here

Hi ya'll. (Crap I watched way to much E! Channel Britney Spears coverage yesterday). I am still here and know who I am. All positive news. I am moving a bit slow today, but otherwise fine. Skipped the 16 mile run scheduled for 5:30 this morning. Hope everyone is okay with that.

Dad picked me up to take me to work as my car was still there. We made a stop at Bass Pro Shop and Cracker Barrel. Had never eaten there and had biscuits and gravy for the first time in about a decade. The doctor said to take it easy for the next couple days so I am going the way of the Common Man.

On a lighter note about my concussion yesterday, I would like to give you some examples of how it affected me.

I left my house key in the lock when I left the house in the morning. Mistress found it later in the day. Whew.

I think I have mentioned in the past that head injuries make you susceptible to suggestion; well after several hours of tv in my exam room I had a overwhelming desire to eat pizza and popcorn for dinner after seeing multiple commercials for those products all day long.

I had bouts of amnesia during the ER visit. They would ask me a question, "did you throw up" and I would answer "yes". Then I would turn around and ask them how they knew that I had thrown up and they would tell me they just asked me.

I kept answering "yes" to questions, so Mistress asked if she could pull up the carpet and lay wood flooring. I said, "yes", not even realizing what she asked me. She felt guilty and told me about it later.

Well those were 'funny' to me. I can't live like I would never get a hit to the melon again and be in constant fear. Careful, yes. I just didn't think that my next concussion would be self induced. Bike accident, car accident, accidental rough housing all likely candidates. Hitting my head on a hanging candle holder, not so much on the list. I just didn't have the court awareness I should have.

That'll happen. Thanks again for all your support out there. It has been a great comfort to me.

Head Injury update

Just got released from the hospital. I have about five minutes before Mistress gets home with my pain killers and she won't let me use the pc when she gets home.

I am concussed. The CT scan came back good, so no bleeding or cracked skull. Failed the motor skills and verbal tests though. I have some moments I will share later that may make you laugh or think I am a really screwed up dude. But I hear self-deprecating humor is big right now.

This concussion makes it an unofficial bakers dozen (13) by my counts. Funny how all this really just piled up from the routines needing help to the neurologist to the 'reverse headache' yesterday and now this.

I was talking to Jeff, my training partner, and his son who is a high school quarterback probably gets six or seven hits a game that are harder than the one I gave myself today. It goes to show just how progressive multiple concussions to the head and other TBI's can affect a person.

I'm going to lay down now. Thanks so much for the kind comments earlier.

Head Injury update

Just got released from the hospital. I have about five minutes before Mistress gets home with my pain killers and she won't let me use the pc when she gets home.

I am concussed. The CT scan came back good, so no bleeding or cracked skull. Failed the motor skills and verbal tests though. I have some moments I will share later that may make you laugh or think I am a really screwed up dude. But I hear self-deprecating humor is big right now.

This concussion makes it an unofficial bakers dozen (13) by my counts. Funny how all this really just piled up from the routines needing help to the neurologist to the 'reverse headache' yesterday and now this.

I was talking to Jeff, my training partner, and his son who is a high school quarterback probably gets six or seven hits a game that are harder than the one I gave myself today. It goes to show just how progressive multiple concussions to the head and other TBI's can affect a person.

I'm going to lay down now. Thanks so much for the kind comments earlier.

Adding Injury to Injury

I wrote a pretty personal post last night about dealing with head injury's. Then this morning while my bike was leaned up against a wall, I leaned over it and hit my forehead really hard against the edge of a wrought iron candle display hanging higher up the wall.

It knocked me on my ass but I didn't pass out. Mistress was there to help me. I made it to work OK but still feel a little woozy and nauseous, my eyes are a bit unfocused (I've had to increase the font size and screen % so far today). After a quick ten minute meeting, I had to go outside and throw up a couple times.

I don't think I have another concussion. I think I just rung my bell really hard....wait one...

...I just got up to go to the locker room to see if I have a mark on my forehead and realized I can't walk straight without focusing on the lines in the tile. Left to my own gait, I veer right. I did a couple of laps up and down in my hallway and every time no matter where I started walking, I veered right.

I think this is going to be very short day. And I have another call to Mistress to make.

Update 10:18: Mistress called the neurologist to confer my symptoms. She is now coming to take me to the ER.

Head injury insight

I still haven't heard back from the neurologist yet for my test date. Mistress is calling on that for me today. This post is to give you a glimpse of one of the symptoms I suffer from which we all believe is directly related to the TBI's (Traumatic Brain Injury's) I have sustained over the years.

I have days, today is one, where my brain feels numb. My head feels numb. It is not a drugged state or exhaustive state or a symptom of allergy or illness or a state of confusion or lack of clarity, its like my mind is stuck in blindspot and can't get out.

I can sit in the same spot for seconds or minutes, yes even hours and not even realize I haven't moved. My thinking becomes very linear and slowed down. I become a terrible driver. During some recent episodes, (its happening or I am recognizing it more frequently), I have pulled over the van and asked Mistress to take over because I lose confidence in my ability to process people walking in cross walks or cars in other lanes. I have mimed "sorry" a lot driving in this state.

This 'reverse headache' usually doesn't last more than one day and is not a part of any depression. I feel fine, hopeful and positive, other than my head feels numb and I have to stay busy or risk not moving at all. Its hard to put into succinct words. Its almost as if my body is fine but my brain is drunk or buzzed. Like I have taken a pain killer that only affects the brain. But with painkillers we know it never really removes the pain and so there is still a numbness that occurs or waves of non-feeling that wash over the consciousness. My ears won't stop ringing.

I am hoping that the testing I have done will address this issue, either with routines to overcome it or a specific medical condition that can be worked on cognitively. Its not like I can hold up a cast to show a broken arm. I don't need crutches to move around, but on the days I feel like this I certainly get the idea that I am defective or impaired in my ability to function at work or in society.

Head injury insight

I still haven't heard back from the neurologist yet for my test date. Mistress is calling on that for me today. This post is to give you a glimpse of one of the symptoms I suffer from which we all believe is directly related to the TBI's (Traumatic Brain Injury's) I have sustained over the years.

I have days, today is one, where my brain feels numb. My head feels numb. It is not a drugged state or exhaustive state or a symptom of allergy or illness or a state of confusion or lack of clarity, its like my mind is stuck in blindspot and can't get out.

I can sit in the same spot for seconds or minutes, yes even hours and not even realize I haven't moved. My thinking becomes very linear and slowed down. I become a terrible driver. During some recent episodes, (its happening or I am recognizing it more frequently), I have pulled over the van and asked Mistress to take over because I lose confidence in my ability to process people walking in cross walks or cars in other lanes. I have mimed "sorry" a lot driving in this state.

This 'reverse headache' usually doesn't last more than one day and is not a part of any depression. I feel fine, hopeful and positive, other than my head feels numb and I have to stay busy or risk not moving at all. Its hard to put into succinct words. Its almost as if my body is fine but my brain is drunk or buzzed. Like I have taken a pain killer that only affects the brain. But with painkillers we know it never really removes the pain and so there is still a numbness that occurs or waves of non-feeling that wash over the consciousness. My ears won't stop ringing.

I am hoping that the testing I have done will address this issue, either with routines to overcome it or a specific medical condition that can be worked on cognitively. Its not like I can hold up a cast to show a broken arm. I don't need crutches to move around, but on the days I feel like this I certainly get the idea that I am defective or impaired in my ability to function at work or in society.

Head injury insight

I still haven't heard back from the neurologist yet for my test date. Mistress is calling on that for me today. This post is to give you a glimpse of one of the symptoms I suffer from which we all believe is directly related to the TBI's (Traumatic Brain Injury's) I have sustained over the years.

I have days, today is one, where my brain feels numb. My head feels numb. It is not a drugged state or exhaustive state or a symptom of allergy or illness or a state of confusion or lack of clarity, its like my mind is stuck in blindspot and can't get out.

I can sit in the same spot for seconds or minutes, yes even hours and not even realize I haven't moved. My thinking becomes very linear and slowed down. I become a terrible driver. During some recent episodes, (its happening or I am recognizing it more frequently), I have pulled over the van and asked Mistress to take over because I lose confidence in my ability to process people walking in cross walks or cars in other lanes. I have mimed "sorry" a lot driving in this state.

This 'reverse headache' usually doesn't last more than one day and is not a part of any depression. I feel fine, hopeful and positive, other than my head feels numb and I have to stay busy or risk not moving at all. Its hard to put into succinct words. Its almost as if my body is fine but my brain is drunk or buzzed. Like I have taken a pain killer that only affects the brain. But with painkillers we know it never really removes the pain and so there is still a numbness that occurs or waves of non-feeling that wash over the consciousness. My ears won't stop ringing.

I am hoping that the testing I have done will address this issue, either with routines to overcome it or a specific medical condition that can be worked on cognitively. Its not like I can hold up a cast to show a broken arm. I don't need crutches to move around, but on the days I feel like this I certainly get the idea that I am defective or impaired in my ability to function at work or in society.

Head injury insight

I still haven't heard back from the neurologist yet for my test date. Mistress is calling on that for me today. This post is to give you a glimpse of one of the symptoms I suffer from which we all believe is directly related to the TBI's (Traumatic Brain Injury's) I have sustained over the years.

I have days, today is one, where my brain feels numb. My head feels numb. It is not a drugged state or exhaustive state or a symptom of allergy or illness or a state of confusion or lack of clarity, its like my mind is stuck in blindspot and can't get out.

I can sit in the same spot for seconds or minutes, yes even hours and not even realize I haven't moved. My thinking becomes very linear and slowed down. I become a terrible driver. During some recent episodes, (its happening or I am recognizing it more frequently), I have pulled over the van and asked Mistress to take over because I lose confidence in my ability to process people walking in cross walks or cars in other lanes. I have mimed "sorry" a lot driving in this state.

This 'reverse headache' usually doesn't last more than one day and is not a part of any depression. I feel fine, hopeful and positive, other than my head feels numb and I have to stay busy or risk not moving at all. Its hard to put into succinct words. Its almost as if my body is fine but my brain is drunk or buzzed. Like I have taken a pain killer that only affects the brain. But with painkillers we know it never really removes the pain and so there is still a numbness that occurs or waves of non-feeling that wash over the consciousness. My ears won't stop ringing.

I am hoping that the testing I have done will address this issue, either with routines to overcome it or a specific medical condition that can be worked on cognitively. Its not like I can hold up a cast to show a broken arm. I don't need crutches to move around, but on the days I feel like this I certainly get the idea that I am defective or impaired in my ability to function at work or in society.

Noodle

Strong training over the weekend; on Saturday and Sunday I bike 50 miles, ran 8, swam 1.

Congrats to those I know who completed Ironman Florida. From all accounts the weather gods shined favor on the course.

The El Tour de Tucson is in two weeks. Looking forward to this 109 mile ride with friends. My ride over the weekend was supposed to be 80 miles. Not a big deal...except I was doing it on my road bike sans aero bars.

All my levels were 5x5. RPM was high, HR was low, nutrition was spot on. RPE was good, but...

...no aero bars freaking smoked my arms. My triceps were toasted. Still toasted. I called Mistress to tell her I was coming home early and my I couldn't hold my phone to my ear it was shaking so badly.

Just goes to show. Just when you think your doing great, you get humbled.

Nudge

Its been a while since I updated my training. My weight and body fat have not changed too drastically. I am firmly under the Clydesdale line of 200 pounds, hovering around 195. I'm not even in the "one big meal away" category anymore. Thats very cool. Not as fast as I want but I will be at 185 or less by the peak of my race season in April/May.

Heart rate training has been great the last 90 days. When I started I was struggling to run a 10k at 11:30 per mile with a HR of 148 or less. The struggle came from keeping my HR that low as I was used to running with my HR in the 160's.

This week I ran 16 miles at an average HR of 140 bpm and my per mile pace was 10:12. That is quite a feat.

I have had similar success in my cycling. I now ride approximately 3 mph faster than I did before I started base training.

When I started base, I took a swim test to find my average pace per 100 yards called a T-Pace. I pushed myself as if it was an Ironman and it was 2:06. No great shakes but good enough to swim well under the Ironman cutoff. Recently I did a workout that had a warm up of 400 yards then the first set was 4x400. I swam each 400 at a very easy RPE and when I would finish the time was under my T-Pace by a considerable amount of time.

As the physical action improves, the nutrition is still my downfall. I am great during the day but between dinner and when I go to bed, its a minefield that far to often I can't survive. I continue to remind myself that food is for fuel not entertainment.

80 miles on the road bike this weekend in preparation for the El Tour de Tucson. My longest ride yet without aero bars. How will this Intrepid Age Groupers hands feel pushed into the horns for that long? Probably not very good and quite numb. Its a process.

Have fun.

Nudge

Its been a while since I updated my training. My weight and body fat have not changed too drastically. I am firmly under the Clydesdale line of 200 pounds, hovering around 195. I'm not even in the "one big meal away" category anymore. Thats very cool. Not as fast as I want but I will be at 185 or less by the peak of my race season in April/May.

Heart rate training has been great the last 90 days. When I started I was struggling to run a 10k at 11:30 per mile with a HR of 148 or less. The struggle came from keeping my HR that low as I was used to running with my HR in the 160's.

This week I ran 16 miles at an average HR of 140 bpm and my per mile pace was 10:12. That is quite a feat.

I have had similar success in my cycling. I now ride approximately 3 mph faster than I did before I started base training.

When I started base, I took a swim test to find my average pace per 100 yards called a T-Pace. I pushed myself as if it was an Ironman and it was 2:06. No great shakes but good enough to swim well under the Ironman cutoff. Recently I did a workout that had a warm up of 400 yards then the first set was 4x400. I swam each 400 at a very easy RPE and when I would finish the time was under my T-Pace by a considerable amount of time.

As the physical action improves, the nutrition is still my downfall. I am great during the day but between dinner and when I go to bed, its a minefield that far to often I can't survive. I continue to remind myself that food is for fuel not entertainment.

80 miles on the road bike this weekend in preparation for the El Tour de Tucson. My longest ride yet without aero bars. How will this Intrepid Age Groupers hands feel pushed into the horns for that long? Probably not very good and quite numb. Its a process.

Have fun.