Monday, June 27, 2005

This Is A little Embarrassing

As a runner I suffer from a delicate condition, Nipple Inflammation Pattern (NIP's). Stop laughing its not funny. When I run long distances the fabric on my shirt rubs my skin and I develop NIP's. Stop laughing I said.

Sometimes NIP's is so iratating that I begin to bleed, like this poor SOB (that's Son Of a Bitch) BTW, that's not me in the photograph.
















So a few years back I started to use a great product called NipGuards. They are a great product Basically a small octagonal piece of foam with adhesive on the back. The only drawback is that they are raised up about 1/8 inch, so when you have a sweaty white shirt on the octagonal NipGuards are pretty visible. Its been a necessary evil to wear them in order to not be rubbed raw in a long run and to get a good, bloody shirt free race photo, but they look kinda funny and they do show up in photos if your not careful.

So lat week I got creative. What do chicks use to keep their...well ahhhh...their ahh...well you know what's, invisible when everything they wear makes them...well visible. So with the supervision of Mistress, we surfed the web for nipple covers. Well let me tell you, I had no idea they came in cones and tassled and in shapes of butterflys and sequined and in so many colors. What I couldn't find was a style that didn't make me look like I should change my name to Sapphire and wear my Speedo to work.

Until finally I found this website that sold nude covers. So I bought a package to try them out on my run. Basically they are skin tone and all adhesive, sort of like a band-aid without the gauze, but not as thick, these are a very thin material. They stuck to me very well and I had absolutely no problem with NIP's. The website says they even work in water and I can attest that I was soaked through with sweat and they performed very well. I even wore them into the shower and they were still very much stuck to my...well... me, thank you very much.

So for all you men out there who suffer siently from NIP's, I have gone through all the effort and testing to let you know there is a cure. Order with pride, if not without using your wife's name on the address label, cough, cough, like I did. Totally worth the investment and I have upped my confidence and race ability, not to mention post race recovery sensitivity.



7 comments:

Flabbyironman said...

Switching to a synthetic shirt like UnderArmor alleviated my bloody nipples. Man they hurt though. I never thought of that solution... wearing a pastie. I'm secure, but I don't know that I'm quite that secure. heh

Flabbyironman said...

Switching to a synthetic shirt like UnderArmor alleviated my bloody nipples. Man they hurt though. I never thought of that solution... wearing a pastie. I'm secure, but I don't know that I'm quite that secure. heh

tarheeltri said...

Luckily I don't have that condition because I don't think I could get over the sensation of something stuck to my nipples. Reminds of the time I found a tiny bearing on the supermarket floor and put it in my shirt pocket. I kept walking around playing with this bearing in my shirt pocket until my wife pointed out that it looked like I was twisting my nipple! Which of course, would look absolutely silly while racing!

Flatman said...

HAHAHAHA...not only does this get the weirdest post of the day award, it gets the funniest too! That last comment by tar heel was damn classic! "twisting my nipple"...what a pervert your wife is! I had to cough to cover up my laughing...shhh...I am working.

Brett said...

I shall keep your recommendation in mind. BodyGlide has worked for me thus far, but you never know!

Brett

Wil said...

OMG - Your posts keep getting funnier and funnier. I was totally busted by your shushes, too. Thanks GOD I don't have this problem.

Nancy Toby said...

There is nothing that grosses out non-runners more than seeing some guy come into the finish chute with 2 streams of blood down his shirt! It's kind of funny to see their horrified reaction. :) Then you tell them, oh yeah, happens all the time in marathons.... then they think you're really HARD CORE.