"Why do I let you in the kitchen?"

Mistress was a bit exasperated last night as you can see from here quote above.

She was putting some more Christmas things up in the front room and I was in the kitchen. I decided for our to dinner cut up some apples, veggies, turkey meat and cheese and also crisp up some bread to dip into hummus. Just light, hands on stuff.

I decided to toast the bread in the oven to do it all at once. I confirmed with Mistress to use the broil setting and she was very clear I needed to watch the bread to make sure it didn't burn and turn it over. I did pretty good...and then got busy for an extra 20 seconds. I ran to the oven, opened the door and WHOOSH, out came the flames and the smoke.

I am glad to say that we don't panic much in this house. Mo of course yelled, "Daddy started a fire mommy!" I started opening windows and hitting fan settings and Mistress ran to grab the baking soda. Once the fire was out she had to call the alarm company so they didn't send a unit out, which was the only real drama since she had misplaced the number.

The aforementioned title was her comment when she got off the phone.

I really thought I might get out of 2007 without starting a fire in the kitchen, but guess not. This makes, I believe, three years in a row, maybe four. And that might not seem too bad, one fire a year, except I only cook maybe five times a year and usually with supervision. Remember I am the guy whose has destroyed an entire kitchen by fire and charred some perfectly good cabinets in the past. My level of cooking is boiling water to add to my dehydrated camping meals or pouring a can into a pot. Everything else is pretty much between two pieces of bread.

Luckily I also bought wine for the dinner, which Mistress got open a bit to quickly, and there was plenty of remaining bread (albeit not toasted) to enjoy the dinner and ultimately have a good laugh. The fancy fudge brownie for their desert pretty much put me back to even with Mistress.

This morning I was told, I need to buy some oven cleaner and some latex gloves. Looks like I'm going in....