Too Human

A vendor walked into my office today bearing a gift. A tray of about 80 small cookies of bakery quality, all different types and flavors. Turns out said vendor spent 28 years as a baker before starting his current business. He made all the cookies at home, put them on a decorative clear serving plate and wrapped in festive translucent wrap with streamers.

I told him I would share these with Mistress, whom he also knows well, he knows her better than me, I must admit. Upon sharing with Mistress this information of our shared blessing, she asked me to wait until we got home so she could she the gift in all its magnificent glory.

But.....I just had to try one. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't when the thing is sitting there on your desk all big and all. It was begging me. Taunting me with its clear wrap and bright bows magnifying the lure of sugared confections.

But what of Mistress. Did not she also want to share in this Christmas bounty?

Out with a flick comes my smallest, sharpest knife. I'll make just a small incision of the wrap along the decorative tray. I would snatch a few precious snacks and use a little piece of tape to cover my deed.

Damn. These cookies are good!!!

The hole doubles in size before I am satiated, the seam carefully concealed in tape and tucked amongst the folds of clear wrapper. A right fine cloak and dagger operation I admit to myself. I also admit that the ease of my decision to secretly abscond with valuable booty would put me in an unfavorable light with The Mistress if she ever discovered my traitorous heart.

What is that? A voice in my head? No lower, in my stomach. My its late, almost lunch. I am too busy to leave right now but I should eat.

I'll cut along the same line and snatch just another couple morsels. Quite tasty those powdered ones but their all much higher on the plate now and the hole is too small. I'll make a...oops the knife slipped and the hole is much larger and jagged now. Oh well, time to fess up with an email and enjoy the sugary bliss of holiday cheer.

While I am sure I will feel some heat for this I know two things. One, I didn't lie and say they were just for me to begin with. Two...it's not chocolate. I would never attempt to do this feat with chocolate. Taking chocolate from Mistress is a hangin' O'fence in these parts.