The sensory overload of information in our society moves us at a million miles a minute making us feel like bytes of data streaming through our computers. Multi-tasking. 15 second news bites of murders, accidents, negativity. 30 minute mindless sitcoms. Bumper to bumper traffic of iron jockeys one lack of a blinker turn away from Road Rage. Can't let your children play in the street like you did at their age.
Bills. Commitments. Disappointments. Expectations in people not met. Ambivalence to the higher ideals you represent.
Sound familiar?
All that seems to vanish with the splash of my legs dropping into the pool. All that seems to vanish when I clip into my pedals. All that seems to vanish when I tighten up my laces.
Life suddenly slows to the beating of my heart. To the exhale and inhale of vital oxygen. All disappointments and fears suddenly slow to the speed of my life on a tropical vacation. Life's distractions move into 'Island Time' as I do what I so desperately need right now, right now what I need is to center myself.
Find my true self. The self that I dream about. The me I want to be all the time but can only be when I train for Ironman. I know an hour from now, may two, I'd love for it to be three or four, I will have to re-enter the life that pulls me from my center. That makes me feel unbalanced.
I don't train for for triathlons because it will save the world. But maybe it will save me. I don't leave my family for hours on end to swim or bike or run because I don't love them. But maybe it will allow me, through results, to love myself.
There is so much beauty in the world that goes unnoticed. The smile of a child. The unconditional love of a dog. A sincere apology.
The greatest beauty of all however is loving yourself. Of being honest with yourself. Being transparent with the person inside. Making changes that finally enable you to overcome the obstacles in your life. Maybe its not even that big.
Maybe it just enables you to gain back some sense of the self-worth that you lost along the way. Repairing the scabs that turned into scars from the asshole boss or the person that betrayed you in a relationship.
When I train for tri's, I love myself a little bit more.
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12 comments:
Dude, you ROCK! This is exactly how I feel. You hit the nail on the head with this fantastic post! Thanks!
Dude! That post is kick ass awesome. Like... wow. Enough said.
Oh, yeah. Poetry. I loved it.
You are so right. Training is such a release (especially the bike for me). I feel like everything else just melts away.
Thank you for posting this!
True...
what a beautiful post! love it!
Thanks for putting this into words. At this stage in my life I need to go run. I need to get on the bike. Some nights I toss aside the laundry, the toys scattered from one end of the house to the other, the dishes, etc. I wait until I put the kids to bed and then I ask my mom to watch the kids so I can go. She doesn't understand how I can go "exercise" when there is so much to be taken care of. She doesn't understand that running is how I take care of myself and if I don't take care of myself- I can't take care of anything or anyone else.
Thanks Commodore- I printed this one to show my mom.
wow what a great post! awesome dude!
This is great!!! Thank you very much for writing this... this is totally how I feel. I am going to keep this post around to remind myself!
You hit the nail on the head. Thanks for this :)
Thanks for the comment. I could save those personal posts in a word document on my computer but I know if I put them out there- people like you will encourage me to stay the course.
Nice post Commodore. I couldn't have said it better myself.
Benny
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