To The Buoy

Okay, you have done your warm ups, its time to swim to the buoy.

Am I ready for the buoy?

Your goal all week has been to swim to the buoy. You swam 2,100 in the pool two days ago, half of it straight, how much more confidence do you need?

A lot more.

Look, see the rest of the guys are already swimming back to the buoy for their second lap. If you don't go now you won't be able to for five minutes so you can stay out of their way. Your warmed up, confident about swimming in in the inlet, go for it.

Yeah your right, deep breath and go. Hey this isn't so bad. Keep the strokes good, legs high in the water, breath. Look up and take a deep breath. Where am I? Oh there it is. Can I grab that thing and hold on or will it slip away if I freak out?

Stop that.

I made it. Ah crap, Todd is coming around, "Hey Todd keep it up your doing great." Okay the hard part is over now get back to shore. Thats how far away the shore is? Why won't my legs come up more.? It feels like I am sprinting? I can't get a decent breath? Confidence where are you?

Theres a bug out point over there you idiot! Get your ass over there or your gonna drown!

That looks like its about 60 meters away. Stroke faster. No wait just relax, relax, RELAX. Crap I drank a bunch of water. I'll probably get samonella or ecoli. Oh why did I have to think that? I can't breath, I can't breath. I'm done. Float on your back. Now deep breaths. Stroke a little, kick a little. My breathing is not slowing down. I'm having a panic attack out here. I'm gonna freaking die out here 40 meters from shore, I'm gonna drown.

No you're not. Think about Mo, think about Mistress. Its 40 flippin meters you have to make it.

My breathing's not slowing down, I thought it was supposed to slow down on your back. Flip over and stroke it out, come on. Oh good I'm a little closer, pull hard to get level then breathe. Good Lord. Side stroke, that sucks. Like instead of going straight down, I'll feel like I'm drowning on an escalator. Doggy Paddle.

Doggy paddle? Brother you don't know how to doggy paddle. Will you flippin catch your breath and swim to shore.

Right, back float. Ahh better. I think I can make it now. Yeah the shore is only 30-40 meters I can make it, I can make it, I can make it. Damn hurry up already. Oh my god. Oh my god. I did it. I'm still alive. Whats my heart rate? Woo! Hit the lap counter.

I almost drown and you have to look at your stupid Polar monitor to see how close to dying a computer says you came. Try listening to yourself hyperventalate here why don't you. Your an idiot. You almost drown yourself and your worried about hitting the split button your watch. Genius.

At least the coroner would know what was going on.
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Well that pretty much how my swim went today. The good thing is that all the guys there were very cool about it. They all went through the same thing at one point. One of the guys there, told me his infamous story of his first time going to the buoy and needing a rescue to get to shore. Today he swam the 1.2 mile course. So there is a living shining exampe for me.

Have a great weekend and great races everyone. Especially you Chris at Ironman Wisconsin.
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Follow Up: I spent the better part of this day, its well over 12 hours since the swim, thinking about this post. I am actually glad I wrote it this way because this is what was going through my mind in my so called crisis. I'm not exactly glad that I had it but I am glad that I got through it on my own. The open swim is my limiter, I simply just can't stop or pull over. I was asked not long ago what my best event in triathlon is. My response was my Will to finish. It has got to be my Will over my fear of open swimming that creates the opportunity for my successful finish of not just an Ironman, but of any long distance triathlon. I will conquer my fears.