Decisions

As of last night I was out. I didn't lose any sleep over it. So why am I packing my bags today and every waking moment has been spent staring into my son's swollen face and wondering that immortal question. "Do I stay or do I go?"

Mistress tells me to go, a sure sign that she thinks Mo is on the mend. She wants me to not lose this opportunity to race and be better prepared for Florida. She understands my commitment and the investment the whole family has made.

I sort of cut the race out of my head last night. It was really, really hard to finally say, "Its over" and be okay with it and tell myself to no longer doubt my decision. But here I am, doubting my decision about staying. I am trying to wrap my mind now around the fact that maybe I should do this race.

If I stay I will be thinking about a sick Mo every minute and not have fun, I certainly won't / don't have the heart in this race like I did earlier this week.

If I stay I will be thinking about the race but know I most likely made the right decision, family first.

I guess I still have a couple of hours to decide. I'll pack my bags and get my gear ready to go and then figure it out.

Stay tuned