Dear Me,
I feel like I let myself down last week. I didn't miss any one scheduled workout but I didn't complete all of them either. Of 15 hours of training I came up short by 2 hours. The majority of that coming from the absolute frustration of running on a treadmill for 12 miles.
I simply could not bring myself to finish it. I couldn't. I tried. I got on the machine with all my fuel and water and towels. I ran for a while, more than most people do in a week of training but mentally I didn't have a long run in me after the week I had.
My closest adviser having a stroke. My friend possibly dead, an unknown cyclist in her neighborhood crushed by a semi truck and no answer from her phones. Some crucial conversations with employees. It took too much out of me.
I let myself down. I'm sorry. I take myself way to seriously. I put high expectations on my employees to memorize scripts and follow through with the instructions of my production partners. How can I expect excellent execution of our company systems from them when I can't follow through 100% with my own training programs?
I can't promise myself that I won't become weak during a practice. I can't promise myself that in a moment of crisis or weakness that I will skip a workout. I can only rely on my Heart, my Determination, my Perseverance to succeed.
I want to do well so badly. I want to redeem myself at Ironman Arizona next year. I have put so much effort into my fitness and nutrition and balance with my family that momentarily lapses of conviction punctuate my weakness.
I am sorry for myself. Not in the way that I am a mopey sad sack and need a kick in my ass. I am sorry for myself in that I know I can do better and yet I let myself down.
Have Fun but do better. You deserve the best.
I feel like I let myself down last week. I didn't miss any one scheduled workout but I didn't complete all of them either. Of 15 hours of training I came up short by 2 hours. The majority of that coming from the absolute frustration of running on a treadmill for 12 miles.
I simply could not bring myself to finish it. I couldn't. I tried. I got on the machine with all my fuel and water and towels. I ran for a while, more than most people do in a week of training but mentally I didn't have a long run in me after the week I had.
My closest adviser having a stroke. My friend possibly dead, an unknown cyclist in her neighborhood crushed by a semi truck and no answer from her phones. Some crucial conversations with employees. It took too much out of me.
I let myself down. I'm sorry. I take myself way to seriously. I put high expectations on my employees to memorize scripts and follow through with the instructions of my production partners. How can I expect excellent execution of our company systems from them when I can't follow through 100% with my own training programs?
I can't promise myself that I won't become weak during a practice. I can't promise myself that in a moment of crisis or weakness that I will skip a workout. I can only rely on my Heart, my Determination, my Perseverance to succeed.
I want to do well so badly. I want to redeem myself at Ironman Arizona next year. I have put so much effort into my fitness and nutrition and balance with my family that momentarily lapses of conviction punctuate my weakness.
I am sorry for myself. Not in the way that I am a mopey sad sack and need a kick in my ass. I am sorry for myself in that I know I can do better and yet I let myself down.
Have Fun but do better. You deserve the best.
6 comments:
Aww Comm... I lost a best friend last week as well.
***hugs***
Take it easy, you will get back at it. Court
When you fill anothers bucket you fill our own. Here is a ladel for you pal.
Hey - life happens. The only thing worse than missing a couple of hours of workout is missing the opportunity to participate fully in the rest of your life. You've got to strike a balance.
One worse thing - beating yourself up like that. Training is to be celebrated. If you miss a workout you just vow not to miss the next one and move on.
Dear Comm,
Thanks for the note, but let me tell you this, if you ever schedule a 12 mile or more run on the treadmill again, I'll kick your ass!
Sincerely,
Me
Dear You:
Nonetheless, so far so good. Back at it tomorrow, looking to be better yet. 'Cause that's how you roll - and encourage others to be better too.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear Comm's,
You completed a little more than 86% of your goal. As grades go, not an A+ but a solid A.
Room for improvement, sure. But still good!
Yours truly,
Me
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