sticks and sporks

Do you have a preference to how you eat? Its not silly. Do you have a favorite drinking cup, coffee mug, fork, spoon or knife?

I will admit that my eating preference is to use my hands or two pieces of bread. In the Infantry you never really had a place to sit and eat a hot meal with a table and a plate and utensils and all that high flaunting stuff, so it was not uncommon for most of us to put the entire meal between two pieces of bread and stuff it in our faces as fast as possible so nothing fell to the ground. Oh the heady days of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn and tapioca pudding between two slices of whole wheat.

Most of the food I ate was MRE's and even though it came with an adequate spoon it was not something to pride yourself on and I would spend spare moments in stores looking for the perfect spoon to eat with. (I'm not alone here) It had to be long enough to snake it into a buddy's pouch of Chicken Ala King but have a big enough bowl to get a decent serving of food on it. Sometimes I still catch myself looking for the new perfect spoon at outdoor retail stores.

I do have two favorite spoons right now. Super Spoon and Sporkzilla. Super Spoon is almost spatula like in its appearance but has got me through many nights of chili and soup. My most favorite is Sporkzilla. Sporkzilla is a titanium spork from Snow Peak. You may laugh but this spork is highly prized by backpackers, they even write reviews about it. My only concern with this reviewer is that he seems a bit of a princess. What guy spoons the milk out of his cereal bowl or finishes soup broth with a spoon, you slurp it up from the bowl for crying out loud. And you don't rely on a spork for eating meat which brings me to my next much ballyhooed utensil.....

The Stick.

There is perhaps no better way to eat than off a stick. Oh you can buy those cheap wood skewers or use chopsticks, for eating purposes a good knife is considered a stick. But nothing is more manly. The thrill of eating an apple by knife blade. The satisfaction of eating grilled chicken and vegetables off a long sharp rod. Even sushi is perfected by using chopsticks though easier with just the hands. Oh heck even eating ice cream off a stick is pretty cool. I have eaten just about everything off a stick. I had bat on a stick. It was a fruit bat so I got my protein and my vegetables in that meal. There is nothing better while backpacking or on a mission than eating squirrel, rabbit, snake, deer, grubs (big fat white marshmallow size grubs) , pancakes, biscuits, turtle, fish, squab (thats Scottsdale for pigeon), fruit, veggies, shrimp.

Look. People plan elaborate parties around fondue pots which means you dip food into a sauce using a-pause for dramatic effect-yes thank you a stick. I went to a wedding that had sushi and a chocolate dipping fountain. I used the same set of chopsticks for both. (Hey I disinfected them with my glass of Glenlivit).

Children learn at a young age to toast marshmallows and bread around campfires using sticks they found around their campground. Its ingrained in us and then we get all discombobulated with rules and etiquettes when all you really want to do is forgo a little civility and slurp from that bowl or tear something with your hands and shove it in your mouth.

I believe my (perhaps) over analyzed eating solutions are just another way of staying young having fun with food.

Can you relate?