I realize that sometimes that in my own personal writings, like yesterday, the tone can seem less than sunny. Be that as it may, I am a very hopeful person. I believe that while bad things happen to good people, almost any storm can be weathered with the right attitude.
Of course as I know all too well, to much of the 'right attitude' leads straight to the emergency room. I'm learning that you can't ignore the storm completely like I did at Ironman, and the Ironman before that, and then the day I got the heat stroke and all subsequent heat injuries since, and so on.
The doctor I am consulting with, Dr. Chu, he warned me in our first call that any physical activity I did would be harmful because of the intensity I would put into it when my blood was still screwing up my body. His exact words were, "You can't go do a race for fun. You'll get passed by someone, feel a tailwind, eventually a bell will go off in your head, you'll disengage any biofeedback and go full on." I disagreed until Mo said a single word, "Mush", to me in a parking lot and I began sprinting, pushing him on a costco sled. It wasn't even a race. It was just me, playing with my son, and 30 yards later I understood. Completely.
I had no clue. I just snapped. Like Pavlov's dog. And the sickest part is that each time that bell went off that ended up with me having an IV or hospital visit or being hang-dog in bed dehydrated, has done irreparable harm to my body.
There are a lot of reasons why I can be upset or frustrated at these tests and if they portend less than perfect outcomes for my health. Each of those days that ended with an IV drip and odd blood labs started with a great adventure and ultimately became a great story. But I am a hopeful person, and I know that I will have more great adventures and do more great things at the threshold my body can handle....
...I may rev it up a bit, though albeit with a governor on me. It is after all, hard to change our nature.
Mush.
Of course as I know all too well, to much of the 'right attitude' leads straight to the emergency room. I'm learning that you can't ignore the storm completely like I did at Ironman, and the Ironman before that, and then the day I got the heat stroke and all subsequent heat injuries since, and so on.
The doctor I am consulting with, Dr. Chu, he warned me in our first call that any physical activity I did would be harmful because of the intensity I would put into it when my blood was still screwing up my body. His exact words were, "You can't go do a race for fun. You'll get passed by someone, feel a tailwind, eventually a bell will go off in your head, you'll disengage any biofeedback and go full on." I disagreed until Mo said a single word, "Mush", to me in a parking lot and I began sprinting, pushing him on a costco sled. It wasn't even a race. It was just me, playing with my son, and 30 yards later I understood. Completely.
I had no clue. I just snapped. Like Pavlov's dog. And the sickest part is that each time that bell went off that ended up with me having an IV or hospital visit or being hang-dog in bed dehydrated, has done irreparable harm to my body.
There are a lot of reasons why I can be upset or frustrated at these tests and if they portend less than perfect outcomes for my health. Each of those days that ended with an IV drip and odd blood labs started with a great adventure and ultimately became a great story. But I am a hopeful person, and I know that I will have more great adventures and do more great things at the threshold my body can handle....
...I may rev it up a bit, though albeit with a governor on me. It is after all, hard to change our nature.
Mush.
8 comments:
You should go nowhere without a HR monitor and an alarm set for 100 bpm. Set it loud!
Bigun's on a good track - technology in aid of self-management.
Commodore,
I read your previous post and didn't realize you use to play paintball.
I use to as well. I own a tippman 98. I am not sure if you heard of a company call Palmer. They had very good paintball markers. Not mass manufacturing. My friend own a few markers from them and it is just sweet to play with them.
As for being competitive, hmm, I think we can control ourselves and this takes a lot of self conscious effort.
I find it takes a lot of effort to realize and be conscious when I feel competitive. Perhaps this is the male ego and pride at work.
Like I said - not racing is your new endurance sport but we know you can do it! And you will get better.
even sled dogs take the summer off
a word to the wise is generally sufficient.
Hang in there man. I cannot even try to imagine what you are going through, but I can continue to pray and be here for you as support.
Take care,
Melissa
PS. Tell Mighty Mo I bought him something little that I saw and just knew he would like it. I will mail a package to him tomorrow.
I'm totally with you on the Costco Sled. If you hit a nice smooth surface, you can get some great speed. I bet you can average 300 watts on a good day. Do you think there is a race somewhere in the world on those things? Anyway, I will continue to toss good thoughts your way.
sounds like he knows you...the mind/body connection, it's automatic.
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