Tuesday, April 22, 2008

"Have you read this..."

I have a rather...odd relationship with my doctor, "Ann". I saw her today for a post-hospital check up and blood test. Here are some random comments from our meeting.

Ann: "Good Lord, Comm. Rhabdo? You know this can kill you right?"
Comm: "Yes Ann."

A: "You're too young for this. I have patients twice your age with less indicators. And you did this to yourself didn't you. How many times now?"
C: "Ironman.And its about 8 times we think since 1993."

A: "Oh for crying out loud Comm. Bring me these after a traumatic accident or massive heart attack not because you did it to yourself in an Ironman. Didn't you feel your body going over the deep end?"
C: "Yes Ann. I couldn't quit if I tried. I had to just keep moving forward."
A: "Do I need to refer you to a doctor to have your head examined?"
C: "No Ann."

A: "You looked at these ER reports right?"
C: "Yes."
A: "Did it read like your obituary? It sure does to me."

A: "So when do you go back to work?"
C: (Long pause) "I went back to work the day after I got out."
A: "WHAT ARE YOU? HIGH!!! Comm....Comm, what kind of work are you doing in the office."
C: "Answering emails, pushing reports. No lifting, no weights, no exercise."
A: "Absolutely no working out...
C: "Absolutely no working out, promise, nothing."

A: "Wait...you had liver failure and acute renal failure? This is just amazing. You are so stubborn. I've never met any patient who purposefully put them self into this condition through exercise and you continue to do it to yourself."
C: "I know. Ann...when can I workout again?"
A: "Um never. I am not touching this one Comm. You need to work with your specialist. Just reviewing this file is horrifying to me. I can only imagine what your thinking."
C: "I'm thinking I'd like to workout."
A: "I'm thinking I'm calling your wife."

On the plus side the blood draw went really well.

17 comments:

21stCenturyMom said...

If by working out you mean palying with Mighty Mo then good show! Otherwise get over it, man. Now is not your time.

- Your Mom (which is generally worse than your doctor)

stronger said...

Mistress- let us know when you need reinforcements!

Bolder said...

if it wasn't for the laughing, i'd be crying...

take care of yourself mann!

momo said...

i'm not touching this with a ten foot pole.

well, ok, i will. if it were me, i'd probably feel the same way, but since its you going through it and not me i can tell you to REST!!!!! PLEASE!!!!

Jenny Davidson said...

Please take this very, very seriously! V. funny post, but fairly alarming!

M said...

I found myself alternating between laughing and being utterly mortified. And I agree with Momo - I know that I would have the itch to do something - anything - but now is not that time. I seriously hope you are taking it easy.

Brent Buckner said...

And yet you two clearly have a rapport....

You're welcome to keep *thinking* you'd like to work out, JUST DON'T DO IT!

Thanks for motivating Bold to post something worthwhile
:-D

Nancy Toby said...

Um, I'm not laughing.

"Ann" needs to be listened to. Sounds like the smartest doc so far that you haven't been able to talk your way past.

J~Mom said...

I agree with the others, funny and yet not so funny! Listen to Ann for now until something gets figured out!

Duane said...

Don't make me come down there and duct tape you to an easy chair! Rest dude!

Trigirl 2007 - Québec said...

Here an attempt to make you laugh and change your mind about training.
Why don't you pick up on 'macramé'???!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macrame

Take care!

SimplyStu said...

I'm not sure if I should laugh, cry, or have my head reexamined for knowing how you feel.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

It's nice to have a doc who is a straight shooter, so refreshing.

You are paying her for her advice - you should listen to her!

Cliff said...

Take care of yourself, Commodore...

There is time to recoup and there is time to train.

Iron Krista, "The Dog Mom" said...

I so understand where you are coming from. A true Ironman...

BUT, to get better and get back out there doing what you love, you know what you have to do! Take care of yourself :-)

SingletrackJenny (formerly known as IronJenny) said...

I'm with Carrie. I'm calling Mistress if I even dream that you are working out before Dr. Ann gives the go-ahead.
Can I send you some books on tape? knitting kit? Sudoku puzzles?

jeanne said...

have mercy!