Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Your Paper's Please.

A reminder to all of you racing out of the country this year, myself included. Beginning today all U.S. citizens will need to have a passport or other accepted form of travel document to fly to or from any location in the western hemisphere, this does not include American territories such as Guam (booyah, lived there), Puerto Rico, Somoa, Virgin Islands, Commonwealth of Northern Marianas Islands (booyah, been all over that beeyotch), and last and yes least the Swain Islands.

I bet you didn't know we had that many territories did you?

This does include newborns and toddlers, etc.

If you are driving to Canada or Mexico you will not need a passport until January 2008 or 2009. But you should get one anyway.

Wait time for a passport (about $100) is normally eight weeks through normal channels and two to four weeks with an expedited fee (double that). Some agencies can get one to you in a few days but expect to pay huge cash (double that). Procrastination has a price.

In other local news you can buy a bogus social security card on the corner of Van Buren and 7th Ave. for $5 and Coyotes (people who transport illegal aliens) are now buying GPS units, loading them with topo maps with routes and waypoints on them and selling them at the border for people to make there way across and into the country illegally with the least amount of detection from the border patrol.

I suppose soon enough new GPS units will go behind the counter like my favorite cold medicines with epinephrine . If its not the meth heads and tweaker's screwing with me, its the illegals. Oh wait minimum wage just went up, and my profit check just went down. I thought this was a win/win for America.

6 comments:

Laurie said...

You're always looking out for the little guy. It about time this is required. I will be the closest thing we have to a national ID for a while.

Flatman said...

Man, you can read my mind....

Bolder said...

i need to renew my passport... thanks for reminding me.

Iron Pol said...

First, the passport thing. An additional caution is that travel by boat might not require a passport, but it's a good idea to have one. You never know when something might require a flight back home.

Other than that...

Comms, Comms, Comms. Haven't you heard that the increase in the minimum wage is a great thing? All those who have lived for 20 years at the same wage (what, probably 10, 12 people total) will now get a payraise. And everything will be better. Prices won't change, other wages won't see upward pressure, and profits won't go down.

You don't expect this increase to have the same outcome as every other increase in history has, do you? Never look to history to find out what might happen in the future. That's just silly.

See, you got me going, again.

White Salamander said...

What!?

I shouldn't be expecting a raise? The government not looking out for my interests as a tax payinng citizen?
UNTHINKABLE!

Bigun said...

I've got a GPS they could use - it will tell them how far they've gone and how quickly they are running away from the boarder guard dogs...the boarder patrol can then download the info, and if they use the HR moniter that comes with it, they can see exactly when heat stroke overtook them and they died from dehydration. Good stuff.