How long does it take you to lose all sense of emotion or empathy over an overwhelming situation? I'm not talking about being angry, mad or internally frustrated, just having lost any sense of caring about the outcome. Not about losing your love for someone but cutting the clock short on drama and interactions.
I am not trying to be mellow dramatic, I just realized this morning that my normal joval, roll with it personality has become tart, short and almost pissy with Mistress and Mighty Mo. This is not about marriage problems or mental deficencies on my part, I love my family with all my heart, its just the constant grinding of life at this particular moment in time that today has left me lacking as a husband and father. I know this happens from time to time with everyone else so lets just throw it out there.
Its been a long month now with all the illnesses and injuries going around the house and everything has fallen upon me to get things done. It has affected my training, it has affected my rest, it has affected my work and responsibilities around the house. I no longer listen about bumps, bruises or nicks. Coughing and whizzing leave me unfazed. Watching my family take turns on a nebulizer twice a day common place. I'm blocking things out.
Mistress understands this part of me. The part of me that has been thrown off routines that keep me cognitively sane. Not to elicite sympathy, just stating a fact of life here, but with my head injuries I lose my wallet and keys more than the usual guy unless I follow a routine on a daily basis. She knows this, she accepts this and she gives me great leeway right now out of concern to my well being. She knows this hasn't been easy for me either. Instead of ribbing me for not being able to find something I just put down, she coaxes me to remember where I have been around the house. She understands when I miss a turn on the freeway and it takes a bit longer to get somewhere.
All this can change with a few sane moments on my part so back to the question, how long does it normally take you to lose your empathy?
I am not trying to be mellow dramatic, I just realized this morning that my normal joval, roll with it personality has become tart, short and almost pissy with Mistress and Mighty Mo. This is not about marriage problems or mental deficencies on my part, I love my family with all my heart, its just the constant grinding of life at this particular moment in time that today has left me lacking as a husband and father. I know this happens from time to time with everyone else so lets just throw it out there.
Its been a long month now with all the illnesses and injuries going around the house and everything has fallen upon me to get things done. It has affected my training, it has affected my rest, it has affected my work and responsibilities around the house. I no longer listen about bumps, bruises or nicks. Coughing and whizzing leave me unfazed. Watching my family take turns on a nebulizer twice a day common place. I'm blocking things out.
Mistress understands this part of me. The part of me that has been thrown off routines that keep me cognitively sane. Not to elicite sympathy, just stating a fact of life here, but with my head injuries I lose my wallet and keys more than the usual guy unless I follow a routine on a daily basis. She knows this, she accepts this and she gives me great leeway right now out of concern to my well being. She knows this hasn't been easy for me either. Instead of ribbing me for not being able to find something I just put down, she coaxes me to remember where I have been around the house. She understands when I miss a turn on the freeway and it takes a bit longer to get somewhere.
All this can change with a few sane moments on my part so back to the question, how long does it normally take you to lose your empathy?
12 comments:
You won't lose it...you just temporarily misplaced it, like your keys. There are better days ahead...I know it. Thinking of you and your hard luck right now...
(Keep it in perspective...!)
It comes and goes.
At least you have a good excuse to lose stuff!! Now where is my cell phone again.... I may have to call it to find it!!
PS: I scanned your article and posted it today - great job! Feel free to copy the graphic if you like!!
I feel your pain brother. It's hard doing everything, I know, I've been there. It usually takes me one long trail run early in the morning before everyone gets up until I get it back. Hang in there!
well, usually, when my cup is empty. that's when i lose it. you are so busy pouring water for everyone else, you forget to pour for yourself. yep, that is when i start not caring so much and then i realize what is going on.
part of this too, aside from you needing a routine, is probably your military training too. my brother is like this. you see a job to do and you just go on auytomatic until it is done. you do the same thing in battle. people wonder how you can go on with people falling around you but it is because you are conditioned to do it. it doesn't mean you don't care or those things don't affect you. it just means you see what has to be done and that is the priority at the moment. most military people are like this in life.
i hope things improve and that you can get a good nights rest (how is the insonia going these days?) and a really good training session (maybe a swim out at the lake?). you'll get your groove back.
congrats on the publishing ofy our article too! wtg Comm!
You are human, the things that get broken can be fixed.
"Look well into thyself, there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there"
-Marcus Aurelius
It was in my planner today..I thought it seemed fitting!!
Stronger, I felt foolish writing this in light of the inner fortitude you exhibit on a daily, yearly basis.
Shelley, perfect.
Mipper, thank you for your perfect insite and reading between the lines pretty damn well too.
Oh, Comm, it happens. I'm in the midst of the 6 weeks from hell and I know exactly how you are feeling. I reached a point where I didn't care about anything or anyone - even myself. It's passing because that's not the type of person I am (or you either). Things will get better. I'll be thinking about you.
Don't sweat it too much, Comm. This things happen to us all so just go with the flow and eventually it will ebb back your direction.
BTW...there is a shiny new thing posted on my blog today. I know that you like shiny new things.
For me, a teacher, it took about 3 years, and it hits around report card time. The first couple years I'd say, "oh, I'm so sorry sweetie. Sure I'll let you do some last minute extra credit". Now, when someone asks me "what can I do to bring up my grade?" I want to say, "build a time machine. Go back in time and do your homework."
Empathy is a luxury, and right now all your energy is going toward doing the next right thing. Once things ease up, you'll be back to your old self. Just keep doing what you know to be right. The feelings will follow when you once again have the energy for them.
Just keep your chin up! You won't lose it forever. Sometimes we just get stretched out to our max and something's gotta go. Sometimes that thing is our patience. Hang in there, things will get easier!
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