Lifting the Lid

I was once told the story of the flea, ever hear about this? A flea has the natural ability to vertically jump ten feet high. Thats basically from floor to ceiling of a normal one story room. Considering a flea is only about a milimeter, thats pretty damn good.

If you take a common flea, and put him in a five gallon bucket and put the lid on it, the flea will try to escape but will only be able to jump to the height of the lid. After many, many, many attempts the flea begins to get the point that it when it jumps it gets slapped down by the lid.

Once the flea is taken out of the bucket and put back down on the floor, it will jump, but only as high as the lid on a five gallon bucket and has to be retrained to jump what it is capable of doing. Kind of a corny story, but I want to illustrate that while we humans don't have the ability to jump ten feet we are capable of so much more than we think we are, if we allow ourselves to be trained correctly.

Yesterday morning I asked my wife to met me at one of my clubs so we could have a noon date. Its the first time we have done anything outside the house, in a long time, without the LIMBO (Little Infant Must Be Obeyed). She was really excited and wanted to know what I had planned but I was playfully silent. So what devious and adult activity awaited us when we met?

I brought her to the pool area and told her I needed her to teach me how to be a better swimmer. I know I'm pathetic. She was a varsity, A-game bringing, PAC10 swimmer, she did the mile for crying out loud; and done many triathlons in her past. She would start in wave 3 and come out of the water with the wave 1 studs and studettes.

How did it go? Well I am still blogging, so she didn't kill me, but it was a close call for a few minutes. Lets just say it was humbling and inspiring to have Mistress Carol give a schlep like me the help I needed. I am so beneath her ability. It would be like Sheryl Crow getting advise from Lance Armstrong on how to ride a bike better. When you have forgotten more about doing something so 'technically' natural than the person your teaching, its kind of like, "Where I do I start with this guy?"

She did have fun, we had fun together, but I knew I needed more work. I made promises of candy, beer, marriage...wait she's already got some of that from me. I promised her my first born for more lessons...she said I promised that before and once was more than enough... So I pulled out my last plead, I promised her a real date and a movie just the two of us..BAM, right between the eyes...too much english on that last plead, by the fluttering of the eyes I knew I hit that shot to perfect..she quickly said fine..in an attempt to salvage some control I told her no chick flicks...she says, "No guarantees, but maybe I'll bring my suit next week." Thats the sign of a GOOD woman.