CMS fever

For all the highs in exercise there is also as many lows. If fitness is quest to better your body there is envitably going to be doubts. I hit that wall last night, hard.

I have a big goal this weekend that I decided to do just this week-Valley of the Sun half marathon. I had a good 8k, have a decent base and think running the half is at least possible though it won't produce a PR. So I have been tapering this week.

Last night was to be an easy thrity. From the first step my lungs were tight and I struggled. By ten minutes my shins were cramping and calves were tight. At fifeteen I stopped running a was walking back.

I felt defeated. I felt the fever of the Common Man Syndrome burning in me, trying to bring me down and dash my goals. All that negativity produced doubt, which produces fear, which allowed Satan to tempt me with will all the things I thought I had dealt with. I railed against friends and co-workers. Cursing people, having loud, imaginary arguements with people. I knew it was the darkside and I got mad that I let myself get that far out there.

It was a thirty minute dark path before I recovered. I awoke this morning knowing two things. One, I need to go for a short run today to get my mojo back. Two, I need to control my fears. CMS can strike at any time. My goals are bigger than me and I can't allow that to happen often.