I know that my behavior is strange. I hold doors open for men and women. I pick up things people drop and retrieve them. I put my shopping carts in their proper place and never leave them in a parking stall or kicked up on a curb. I say 'bless you' when people sneeze in stores. I pick up litter.
I am not stating this for my edifice. I don't need or want pats on the back for what I consider good manners.
Today is a managers meeting. Its held in a conference room directly off my office. The other days of the month the staff here uses it to hold meetings and it can be fairly disorganized. I take it upon myself to rearrange the room before our meetings and set up the twenty tables and forty chairs. I clean everything off, wipe everything down. I am an owner of this company.
Usually when managers show up for meetings, they start grabbing the 'nice' chairs for themselves. The ones with padding or arm rests. Other than making sure the ones holding the meeting have nice chairs I can care less. I certainly don't care about my own comfort, though I do save a place for myself next to an outlet to power my laptop. While a senior manager may make sure he and the two production owners running the meeting have nice chairs, he doesn't care about the other four owners in the room, or his own people.
If a meeting is planned to run long, I will order lunch. Today is grilled steak or chicken with an oven baked potato from a friendly take out place. Its clean, quality food, with very little seasonings and extras. I'll get a wag on the people showing up and order a couple extra just in case. If there is extra at the end I give it to employees who have helped me with things around the facility during the month.
I usually serve the food. I try to wait till everyone else has been fed before getting in line myself, my people should eat before me.
I don't see these examples in anyone else in my company. No one rushes to the food line to make sure my partners are fed first. I say this because honor goes both ways. When a leader makes an effort to be solicitous and care for his/her people, at some point the people should recognize this and the leaders will find the people taking care of them.
I am not stating this for my edifice. I don't need or want pats on the back for what I consider good manners.
Today is a managers meeting. Its held in a conference room directly off my office. The other days of the month the staff here uses it to hold meetings and it can be fairly disorganized. I take it upon myself to rearrange the room before our meetings and set up the twenty tables and forty chairs. I clean everything off, wipe everything down. I am an owner of this company.
Usually when managers show up for meetings, they start grabbing the 'nice' chairs for themselves. The ones with padding or arm rests. Other than making sure the ones holding the meeting have nice chairs I can care less. I certainly don't care about my own comfort, though I do save a place for myself next to an outlet to power my laptop. While a senior manager may make sure he and the two production owners running the meeting have nice chairs, he doesn't care about the other four owners in the room, or his own people.
If a meeting is planned to run long, I will order lunch. Today is grilled steak or chicken with an oven baked potato from a friendly take out place. Its clean, quality food, with very little seasonings and extras. I'll get a wag on the people showing up and order a couple extra just in case. If there is extra at the end I give it to employees who have helped me with things around the facility during the month.
I usually serve the food. I try to wait till everyone else has been fed before getting in line myself, my people should eat before me.
I don't see these examples in anyone else in my company. No one rushes to the food line to make sure my partners are fed first. I say this because honor goes both ways. When a leader makes an effort to be solicitous and care for his/her people, at some point the people should recognize this and the leaders will find the people taking care of them.
I certainly am not a paragon. I spend to much. I think I am pretty selfish with my time. But I have Honor. I understand Duty. I have purity of thought. I think the word used to be Chivalrous.
Maybe someday I will explain the why and how I feel honor bound to imbue this virtue, but its a longer story of struggle, triumph and in the end getting the girl.
8 comments:
I am convinced we were separated at birth...
Comm,
One Leo to another...Chivalrous is just who we are. Just sort of born that way. I've always been like that...from calling people on inappropriate language, single minded and steadfast loyalty to my friends, to the coat in the mud puddle thing, the whole bit. It's often a sense that I was born in the wrong time, as many such virtues are held in contempt today, or at the very least admonished as old fashion and/or insulting. Well, I say long live chivalry, baby!! =)
What can I say? Way to go, dude! dc
Comm, I think it has something to do with the military in us. During my military career we ingrained in ourselves and each other the absolutely necessity to take care of the troops. When I moved to the corporate world it was very evident that this piece was missing and I missed it.
That and a good upbringing of course.
Let me be the first female of non-military background to say, "me, too". I behave that way. I try to address the clerks in the store by the name on his or her tag when I say "Thank you", too.
What all of us nice people need to figure out how to do is get the rest of the world on board. What is the matter with people these days? So cranky and inconsiderate.
And allow me to second 21st century Mom's comment! Not only do I know people by name where I shop regularly (except for the big box supermarket), I have become friends with a number of them -- and they have enriched my life.
I hold doors, I say thank you (but occasionally I also say "you're welcome" to someone who wanders through the door I'm holding without acknowledging it).
But I really do want to hear the story about getting the girl!
You wrote:
When a leader makes an effort to be solicitous and care for his/her people, at some point the people should recognize this and the leaders will find the people taking care of them.
One could hope that at the least the folks would take care of their own subordinates and peers.
This is exactly right. What kind of a world do we live in where people can't say "bless you"?
I fully agree with your perogative and try to do similar things. One thing that I have done at my job (just a staff PT not a manager of any kind) is try and get to know something about each person I come in contact with in any position. I may know that the CEO is going to be having a new grandbaby in Oct or that the day janitor has a boxer puppy named Kaya. If you remember things that people hold important it makes a big, giant difference.
it's surprising to me how often people are simply rude. it's almost as if they are not aware of life outside their little realm. i applaud you for your awareness. i applaud you for your leadership. mo will learn a lot from you. this country could learn a lot from you.
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