I swear there is an Ironman connection here.
It's hard to teach a four year old about honor. First it starts with action and then philosophy. When Mo and I play with a swords, (foam, plastic or wood) I have taught him ritual honor. We always bow to each other before charging (like jousting knights). When we hand each other swords we hold the sword horizontal balanced in both hands and we bow our heads (think samurai ritual). Mo gets all that.
The philosophy of honor right now is the 'Please' and 'Thank yous'. Addressing adults as Mr. Jeff or Miss Wendy. Saying Yes and No instead of Yea and Nah. At night we talk about how good deeds and politeness honors your parents.
When I finished my first Ironman, I got the tattoo. My business partner/mentor/boss has had this thing about tattoos. Doesn't like them. Doesn't want to see them on employees at work. I knew that I would get the tattoo and I would honor my bosses personal tastes by wearing a 3x4 inch band aid over it when I wore work shorts in the office. I wear shorts practically every day so I have been buying $10 worth of bandages each month to cover it up.
I had hoped by honoring my partner, the figurehead of our company, and discussing my personal choice to employees to get the tattoo and cover it, it would show honor to him and set an example for the company. Well there may be honor amongst us but my example did not spur a run on covering an increasing number or tattoos among employees.
Most people who knew what it was, thought I was silly. "We're in the fitness business. You have an Ironman tattoo, not some skull or barb wire on your arms or legs. He should have no problem with that."
My response has always been the same. I wouldn't ask, if he found out and allows me to show it, I will. But there is no honor in asking for forgiveness when I did not ask for permission. 'Forgiveness' for lack of a better word, needs to be received not asked for, in this situation.
Today I picked him up at the airport, he commutes from Seattle two or three times a month for a few days at a time, and as I carried his bags into the office he asks what I did to my calf. I explained I got an Ironman tattoo last year and covered it up at work since I know he did not like tattoos.
We were just walking in the parking lot, and he says to me, "Commodore, that's just silly. I don't care if you show you Ironman tattoo."
I can see how this could be such a trivial issue to read about, but the implication to me is huge. I showed honor to my partner for many months when no one else did. And even though it appears he had no interest one way or the other on the subject, I upheld myself and my honor for a long time to a standard that I know he has expressed in the past and I am proud of that.
To be released from that standard, to know my honor saw me through perhaps a silly situation, to proudly show my M-Dot among a company or fitness oriented people, is so awesome for me. It's like I got inked all over again. And it gives me an object lesson to talk to Mo about when we discuss honor tonight.
It's hard to teach a four year old about honor. First it starts with action and then philosophy. When Mo and I play with a swords, (foam, plastic or wood) I have taught him ritual honor. We always bow to each other before charging (like jousting knights). When we hand each other swords we hold the sword horizontal balanced in both hands and we bow our heads (think samurai ritual). Mo gets all that.
The philosophy of honor right now is the 'Please' and 'Thank yous'. Addressing adults as Mr. Jeff or Miss Wendy. Saying Yes and No instead of Yea and Nah. At night we talk about how good deeds and politeness honors your parents.
When I finished my first Ironman, I got the tattoo. My business partner/mentor/boss has had this thing about tattoos. Doesn't like them. Doesn't want to see them on employees at work. I knew that I would get the tattoo and I would honor my bosses personal tastes by wearing a 3x4 inch band aid over it when I wore work shorts in the office. I wear shorts practically every day so I have been buying $10 worth of bandages each month to cover it up.
I had hoped by honoring my partner, the figurehead of our company, and discussing my personal choice to employees to get the tattoo and cover it, it would show honor to him and set an example for the company. Well there may be honor amongst us but my example did not spur a run on covering an increasing number or tattoos among employees.
Most people who knew what it was, thought I was silly. "We're in the fitness business. You have an Ironman tattoo, not some skull or barb wire on your arms or legs. He should have no problem with that."
My response has always been the same. I wouldn't ask, if he found out and allows me to show it, I will. But there is no honor in asking for forgiveness when I did not ask for permission. 'Forgiveness' for lack of a better word, needs to be received not asked for, in this situation.
Today I picked him up at the airport, he commutes from Seattle two or three times a month for a few days at a time, and as I carried his bags into the office he asks what I did to my calf. I explained I got an Ironman tattoo last year and covered it up at work since I know he did not like tattoos.
We were just walking in the parking lot, and he says to me, "Commodore, that's just silly. I don't care if you show you Ironman tattoo."
I can see how this could be such a trivial issue to read about, but the implication to me is huge. I showed honor to my partner for many months when no one else did. And even though it appears he had no interest one way or the other on the subject, I upheld myself and my honor for a long time to a standard that I know he has expressed in the past and I am proud of that.
To be released from that standard, to know my honor saw me through perhaps a silly situation, to proudly show my M-Dot among a company or fitness oriented people, is so awesome for me. It's like I got inked all over again. And it gives me an object lesson to talk to Mo about when we discuss honor tonight.
8 comments:
I wish there were more people with the same values in the world.
I was wondering how much it was going to cost me to cover my tatoo next year. ) Unfortunately my job will not be releasing me from covering up. Thats ok though, I understood that rule when I joined the company. It is great to see one like yourself who puts others needs before your own.
The greatest satisfaction is knowing you have lived by your own values - but it's nice to be able to show off your M-dot too :)
I can totally see why this is a big deal for you!
Nice. On all counts.
Shorts at work?
Really, the issue is one of latitude. What are you willing to defend, and what is best left unchallenged. If some sort of restriction is known going in, there is little room for discussion, and the "They won't mind" argument doesn't hold water.
If there WASN'T a known rule going in, then there is room for discussion. But the boss' (or partner's) feelings/beliefs/concerns should still be considered.
Still, shorts at work?
Very cool. Very cool. The concept of honor gets lost these days. Congrats on getting to show your tatoo.
I'm still debating where to get mine and if I want one right away.
Love it...love the honor lessons to young Mo...love the respect and honoring your superior...love the lesson to your peers...love the feeling you get for being honorable - and love the honor discussion.
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