Fear is a powerful emotion. Fear can make you run faster in a race because you don't want to be passed. Fear can stop you in your tracks or make you cower against the wall for protection. Far to often, I believe, we remember and hold onto the fears that hold us back and not the ones that propel us forward.
Its easy to consider the visceral fears we have about snakes, or heights or being alone in the dark. These immediately set upon us just being in the vicinity of the challenge. These are deep seated fears that came from a trauma or situation that at the time your mind was unable to comprehend. But these fears are generally marginalized because we attempt to live in a bubble that negates being around snakes, or the edges of tall buildings or being in dark, quiet places.
Its the fear of failure that affects all of us on a daily basis and that we have the greatest power over. The fear of failing family. The fear of being fired from your job. The fear of asking for the sale. The fear of standing up for yourself in the name of injustice.
I think when it comes to these fears we allow ourselves to be controlled by our emotions too much and our intelligence not enough. We put the same weight on the fear of finishing a marathon as we do on seeing a snake in wild. We equate the fear of standing in front of a small group for a presentation as we do looking over a ten story balcony.
I use to have a fear of heights whenever I looked over a long drop. Then I realized my fear did not occur when I was tied in with a rope rappelling off a helicopter or when bungie jumping or when I was rock climbing.
I realized my fear was not falling from that high...but jumping with no safety measures. Once I realized that I could look over a drop of any distance, I just have to tell myself, "Don't jump". Thats much different than the natural inclination to think, "Don't fall!"
So my conclusion is to change the paradigm of my fear. I still don't want to fail my family, so I think, "Don't fail yourself." I still don't like snakes much, but as long as I think, "Don't touch" instead of "Don't bite" I can get along just fine.
Not sure if I want to get rid of the fear of being passed in a race. I still think that that fear is a powerful motivator for good.
Its easy to consider the visceral fears we have about snakes, or heights or being alone in the dark. These immediately set upon us just being in the vicinity of the challenge. These are deep seated fears that came from a trauma or situation that at the time your mind was unable to comprehend. But these fears are generally marginalized because we attempt to live in a bubble that negates being around snakes, or the edges of tall buildings or being in dark, quiet places.
Its the fear of failure that affects all of us on a daily basis and that we have the greatest power over. The fear of failing family. The fear of being fired from your job. The fear of asking for the sale. The fear of standing up for yourself in the name of injustice.
I think when it comes to these fears we allow ourselves to be controlled by our emotions too much and our intelligence not enough. We put the same weight on the fear of finishing a marathon as we do on seeing a snake in wild. We equate the fear of standing in front of a small group for a presentation as we do looking over a ten story balcony.
I use to have a fear of heights whenever I looked over a long drop. Then I realized my fear did not occur when I was tied in with a rope rappelling off a helicopter or when bungie jumping or when I was rock climbing.
I realized my fear was not falling from that high...but jumping with no safety measures. Once I realized that I could look over a drop of any distance, I just have to tell myself, "Don't jump". Thats much different than the natural inclination to think, "Don't fall!"
So my conclusion is to change the paradigm of my fear. I still don't want to fail my family, so I think, "Don't fail yourself." I still don't like snakes much, but as long as I think, "Don't touch" instead of "Don't bite" I can get along just fine.
Not sure if I want to get rid of the fear of being passed in a race. I still think that that fear is a powerful motivator for good.
2 comments:
someone once told me that fear and excitement are opposite sides of the same coin. So when I feel fear, I think about turning it around.
That only works for so many things, but it does work for me.
Thanks Comm.
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