Dress Codes

Do remember what you used to dress like in your 80’s phase? The big hair, maybe even parachute pants. Raise your hand if you wore a neon colored shirt. I sure did, I was a size medium wearing a 2XL neon pink shirt that said in giant black letters, “SPRING FUCKING BREAK”. Edgy stuff.

Remember your dance club phase? I beat you still have one of those club shirts or tops that you haven’t worn in ten years but you loved it at the time and just can’t part with it. Oh, how about your college phase, your university sweat pants, ‘sports’ flip flops and ball cap.

I am currently in my triathlon phase. I have been in this stage for roughly five years. It’s not my most attractive phase but it is comfortable. I wear Asics running shoes with a Polar foot pod constantly attached to the laces. I wear running socks or some derivative that has a cuff with funny designs on it. My most favorite pair ever, was a gift from a fellow blogger. They are neon yellow with a bright orange fox on the cuff, a design for his tri team. Guess I still like that neon. You might think that running shorts would be the norm but you would be wrong. They are usually too sweaty, so I wear baggy khaki shorts that will cover the tri shorts or just feel loose. The tops are various race shirts, baggy for the fat days, tighter for the sexy days. My favorite shirts from all phases are from my lifelong obsession with hiking, so quite often I wear my Mountain Hardware Canyon shirt. Today. Instead of ball cap, I wear visors. Of course my favorite has an M-Dot on it, but there are others. Not that my style has changed much in twenty years, but I wear my hair short since its usually wet or sweaty from the training. Let’s not forget the perpetual heart rate monitor watch on my wrist.

I tend to miss out on the more normal trends until they are well past their prime. I am quite easy to spot at restaurants and non-triathlon related gatherings in my running shoes, khaki shorts and Ragnar Race shirt amongst a sea of untucked, starched white dress shirts, designer boot cut jeans, box toe boots, quaffed faux hawks and Roman numeral watches on thick leather bands.

Sure I suffer indignities from my non-athletic peers for such lax standards, but I am comfortable. I don’t have hours to get ready for dinners or lounging around at home before lounging around at some else’s home for a football game or late night UFC party. I am lucky to make it less than a half hour late to a social gathering because I went long in a workout. Thankfully I had some extra shorts and a shirt at the bottom of my bag or in the trunk of my car.

Just stay away from me when I get to said event. The later I am the more food I will consume upon arrival. I suppose I wear some of that too. But isn’t that also part of the phase.