The topic of vacations came up the other day at lunch with my business partners. A couple of spouses were there, Mistress was not one of them. The topic came up that Mistress and I don't take vacations together. Except for one BIG Mexico trip we took the year before Mo was born and short Christmas travel once or twice over the last dozen years, she goes to see family and friends in Seattle and I go on fishing and backpacking trips with guys.
That about floored one spouse who is very family oriented. Mouth agape and eyes wide, she inquired why in heavens name we would do that. My deadpan answer was, "I see her enough during the year. We need to get away from each other."
Had some other people not laughed and chimed in, I think she could have passed out right there at the table. These are some of my closest friends so they all agreed that for our family it works just fine. This year is already established as a family trip and we are deciding what to do.
But let me be honest. I need to be outdoors on vacation with plenty of ME time and lots of personal space, hopefully learning something or improving skills. I am not a big "sit on the beach guy" or "eat at restaurants 2 or 3 times a day" unless its to rest after a monster day of doing something active. Room service is considered outdoorsy to Mistress at this point in our life, it was once not the case, but I am happy she has matured into a woman of taste to balance out my knuckle dragging self.
Vacations to me equals adventure; not what rest I could do any weekend at home, just in a different place. My future vacations are items at the top of any life list including Machu Picchu, Eygpt, bushwhacking South American jungle, climbing Mt. Rainer or any tall peak, rafting the Grand Canyon, an African safari, traveling Europe, fishing the Frazier river in Canada, or maybe reaching the North Pole. But I also want to speed two weeks in Washington DC and New England slowly going through every aspect of my countries history and monuments, going to military battlefields and Boston Commons and the site of the Congressional Congress. I would love to do any or all of this with my family but like I said, we need some time apart from each other to make being together that much more special.
That about floored one spouse who is very family oriented. Mouth agape and eyes wide, she inquired why in heavens name we would do that. My deadpan answer was, "I see her enough during the year. We need to get away from each other."
Had some other people not laughed and chimed in, I think she could have passed out right there at the table. These are some of my closest friends so they all agreed that for our family it works just fine. This year is already established as a family trip and we are deciding what to do.
But let me be honest. I need to be outdoors on vacation with plenty of ME time and lots of personal space, hopefully learning something or improving skills. I am not a big "sit on the beach guy" or "eat at restaurants 2 or 3 times a day" unless its to rest after a monster day of doing something active. Room service is considered outdoorsy to Mistress at this point in our life, it was once not the case, but I am happy she has matured into a woman of taste to balance out my knuckle dragging self.
Vacations to me equals adventure; not what rest I could do any weekend at home, just in a different place. My future vacations are items at the top of any life list including Machu Picchu, Eygpt, bushwhacking South American jungle, climbing Mt. Rainer or any tall peak, rafting the Grand Canyon, an African safari, traveling Europe, fishing the Frazier river in Canada, or maybe reaching the North Pole. But I also want to speed two weeks in Washington DC and New England slowly going through every aspect of my countries history and monuments, going to military battlefields and Boston Commons and the site of the Congressional Congress. I would love to do any or all of this with my family but like I said, we need some time apart from each other to make being together that much more special.
13 comments:
Diff couples have diff things...i see that u and your wife have a mature relatinoshp that u can go vacation on your own without each other.
I too need my own space..t.his explains the training.. :o)
Comm, hubby and I have been married for 18 years this month. In all that time we've taken about 4 vacations together. He likes to go off for football weekends to the mainland with his friends. I am more inclined like you, outdoorsy stuff. I've done some hiking on the outer islands. I've done Africa. Machu Picchu will hopefully be my next adventure, maybe next year.
So yeah, if it works for you what the heck. Hubby and I love spending time together, but time apart is nice too :)
Mrs. Greyhound just got back from 10 days in Italy for museums and shopping. Me, I stayed at the office to pay for the jaunt and to save time for other travel later in the year.
She lost my digital SLR . . . when she got back to Houston. I'm not bitter.
Go to DC and New England by yourself, take ALL the time you need. Then when Mighty Mo is older and can appreciate it, you can take him to the best places and know your way around a bit.
I saw lots of kids in the DC area when I was there recently, most with school groups. My school never did that because it was too far away. I am sure AZ is the same. But it should be a must-see for kids. It would be so much more interesting to have a parent take you than a teacher you didn't like!
i like bushwacking too.
that's all i've got.
It drives me crazy when people act like there's only one "right" way to have a successful relationship and if you don't do it Just. Like. So. you're DOOMED!!!
Dan and I actually are sort of the opposite of you and Mistress. We spend our days hardly seeing each other, each with our own activities. We have our one "date lunch" each week that is non-negotiable, and we read together each night before bed. The rest of the time, we may go for days without much more than a voicemail.
But we take our vacations together. We like it that way.
In a time when it seems so many relationships fall apart, it boggles the mind why anyone would think a happy couple is doing anything wrong, no matter how unworkable it may be for someone else.
Many more happy years to you and Mistress! :-)
I'm right there with you - my husband and I think nothing of taking separate trips. We still do "big" vacations together, but the typical weekend jaunt that happens on a pretty routine basis are an individual thing. I think it works well for a lot of people.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
Bolder.....that was awesome! Who knew? Once again proving who is the P-Dawg Leader!
Although I cannot speak like some of you more seasoned wedded veterans, I know that the times where the misses and I have spent every day together, we found there were times when we just needed our own space. The exact opposite goes right now, since we might only see each other one-two days a week.
I think probably some of the better trips we have been on have been without each other. However, a few of the top 5 trips I have been on include her as well.
Speaking of big trips, we have the honeymoon next year, does anyone have any exotic suggestions? We were thinking maybe Asia or New Zealand
Murtha...
I like sitting on the beach :-)
The best time to visit DC is when the schools are in session, if possible. This way, it will minimize the crowds at all the sites and allow you to take your time and see everything you want to see. The crowds can be very overwhelming during the summer time. And the best part is that almost all the sites are free.
If you ever make it to Valley Forge...feel free to look me up 'cause it's literally my back yard (and training ground too)!
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