Oh look a mirror

How many times have stood in front of a mirror before or after a shower and looked at yourself sideways?  Every day?  Often enough? Maybe pinched or pulled or sucked in or slapped a body part?  And, God's honest truth you think, "Ain't that bad", "Looks better than before".  

Now, think back to what you thought last time you saw someone whip out a camera. QUICK!DUCK, its a camera! Ever feel like that. Instead of running towards center frame, you grab a couch pillow to cover up or stand in the back of a crowd. Maybe even make a scene about not wanting to be in the picture.

What about when you see pictures of yourself. Are you shocked, SHOCKED, that your face is that round. Your arms look that big.  Your skin is that white. Your favorite shirt makes you look bulbous?

You are not alone. No, seriously. Our minds are so strange in that we can look at ourselves 'objectively' several times a day and think we are doing okay but we become super-hyper-critical at a 4x6 glossy. I'm no expert but I chalk it up to the same phenomenon as being surprised that hearing our voice played back to us outside our body sounds different than when we talk to ourselves in our head.

It seems like all mirrors are circus mirrors letting us see a form of reality that doesn't make us run scared out of the room. The type of reality we can marginalize. C'mon. We know if were out of shape. We know if we've been tilting the pints more than the barbells. Eating fast food over home cooked. We know. You know. But when we look in the mirror we convince ourselves that its a half truth. it's not that bad. We are humiliated and dismissive at the same time.

We can not however run from photographs. They're out there for everyone to see. Now everyone else sees you like they always see you. But its the God's honest truth stick being smacked up side your head.

So. The point. If your going to be serious about making a change in your life take a candid picture and put it on your bathroom mirror. Or the refrigerator. One someone sent you from a party. Or a self portrait in your skivvies if its weight loss. It might be a plate of food if its portion control or food types. It might be a credit card statement. Whatever it is, you must first look outside of yourself to know who you really are. Once you have the right frame of mind and can clearly see the course of action you can repair the damage.

I am not going to just exist. I am going to live.