The more I obsess over races/events for the year, the more I realize I am purposely avoiding finish lines. I would rather do something that is significant rather do something that blows the tentative fuse in my head that keeps me on this side of normal on a race course rather than blowing myself up because I will ignore pain.
I have all these crazy ideas in my head and the moment I make them real by seeking advice or just affirmation that its doable, I end up with these same people all asking if they can join in. I suppose no higher praise can be given.
Mistress is so used to this side of me over the last 15 years that when I ask her , "How would you like to go to London in January?" She asks what race do I want to do there. If I ask to go camping, she responds by asking what river, trail or peak is nearby. Though for the last two years she has not so subtly been very fond of me 'having my wings clipped' and stuck at home recoverying from the Mother Of All Race Injuries. Which also means that Mistress has lost all trust in my ability to reel myself in from reckless behavior. Can't say I blame her. I don't trust myself sometimes.
Based on the training and physical feedback tests I have doing lately, I am at a tricky point in my fitness life. I think I could really do some great things, but I have to earn my wifes trust back. I do not do this by making my first real test back, a rim-river-rim hike of the grand canyon or my first race back a full marathon. But I have performed inside all the perimeters I have set for myself so I am not going off book on my intentions.
Once I can get a few more logistics nailed down on my next big deal, I will of course broadcast my goal. Until then, the training and the joy of physical ability will be my path.
Its not enough to exist. I am going to live.
I have all these crazy ideas in my head and the moment I make them real by seeking advice or just affirmation that its doable, I end up with these same people all asking if they can join in. I suppose no higher praise can be given.
Mistress is so used to this side of me over the last 15 years that when I ask her , "How would you like to go to London in January?" She asks what race do I want to do there. If I ask to go camping, she responds by asking what river, trail or peak is nearby. Though for the last two years she has not so subtly been very fond of me 'having my wings clipped' and stuck at home recoverying from the Mother Of All Race Injuries. Which also means that Mistress has lost all trust in my ability to reel myself in from reckless behavior. Can't say I blame her. I don't trust myself sometimes.
Based on the training and physical feedback tests I have doing lately, I am at a tricky point in my fitness life. I think I could really do some great things, but I have to earn my wifes trust back. I do not do this by making my first real test back, a rim-river-rim hike of the grand canyon or my first race back a full marathon. But I have performed inside all the perimeters I have set for myself so I am not going off book on my intentions.
Once I can get a few more logistics nailed down on my next big deal, I will of course broadcast my goal. Until then, the training and the joy of physical ability will be my path.
Its not enough to exist. I am going to live.
1 comment:
Earning back her trust is probably a good thing for reeling you in and keeping you healthy! So glad you are doing so well!
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