Phone it in

The high today is 59 degrees. I considered calling my partner and telling him it was too cold to drive into work today. I mean, its mostly sunny out which means that even though its sunny there are clouds that shadow the light for several minutes. But its cold. I mean c'mon 59 degrees is the high?

And all over the news its showing snow here and there. Makes me think there is snow here and now. I heard my brutha' Bolder got like two feet of snow. My tele-commute today was to be tantamount to solidarity for my bumming buddy. But no, I actually bundles up in two shirts, a sweatshirt and a down jacket, put on my gortex boots in case it got colder than 59 degrees at 5pm and trudged out to the car.

I opened the front door and the blast of cold air that flew into the room took my breath away. At least it was just normal pressure equalization and there wasn't any actual wind out there. I am sure it would have been cold. My car had a little bit of dew on it. I wasn't to upset about that except that my coffee cup left a ring on the roof when I put it there to open the door. Now I have to go get my car washed again. Do you know how long it takes those guy's to hand wash my car? Twenty minutes. And I am supposed to tip for that kind of time? Yes. But I get more Vanilla scenty smells put in my upholstery so I got that going for me which is nice.

I dropped Mo off at school and all the kids were in one classroom being read a story instead of running around outside. True. True. Can't have the little whippers catching death of cold. I mean at 0730 it was probably 50 degrees.

To make matters worse my palette is all jacked up thanks to this head cold. When everything tastes like nothing I personally head straight for the chocolate. The bigger the bar the better, nothing fancy and no added nuts or peanut butter or nugget. When sick I can survive on nothing but big thick bars of Hersey's chocolate and diet coke for weeks. Thank god I am only sick for days.

I suppose tonight when I head home I will have to compete with those idiot drivers who don't know how to drive in the cold. C'mon. You don't have to brake every time you see black ice on the road. It is only 59 degrees, I'm pretty sure its just water. Maybe someone dumped out their drink waiting to merge lanes.

And speed up will ya. All you snow birds from Ottawa who think 55 mph is actually 55 kph. Yes every driver in Arizona has a loaded weapon in the car, this is the 'Wild West' after all, but no one wants to roll down their window and actually shoot you during this cold spell. I mean think about it. Rolling down the window lets the warm air out. We're just getting used to driving without a/c on, now you expect us to let the heat out just so we can brandish a firearm so you finally merge over or speed up?

Think of me warmly and fondly tonight my good friends. Its a 52 degrees right now. I guess we won't even reach our high. I will probably have to turn on my heater and actually sleep under a blanket. I refuse to put on house slippers to fight the cold tile.

If my toilet seat is cold tonight, all hells going to break loose...