I really love my friends. I do. There are so many people that are invested in my successes (and failures) that it is hard to go through the day without smiling about my great fortune. If you can't say the same about your life, then I am truly sorry you can not understand this blessing.
For almost two years I ran as far away as I could from my competitive spirit as I could. My literal life depended on it. When I came back to training, it was purposefully uncoordinated, loose and without race specific goals. Believe it or not, I was quite happy with that. I wondered if I could become one of the mythical dudes people talk about who never raced but always surprised people in training how great I was. Chevy Chase in Caddyshack was my motivation in that. But those that know me, know that ain't me.
Admittedly it was reckless to make a marathon my first race back to being on a clock. And doing so has moved me even closer to the person I was before, though hopefully without the gigantic flaws. But I love my friends because they remind me of those flaws. It is so, so easy to get myself psyched for a race and forget what I have become. My friends keep me grounded. Boy do they keep me grounded.
Between the daily texts and the phone calls I get regular reminders to 'slow down', reminders of my 'don't kill yourself contract' I have with Mistress, others say, "are you effing nuts, you're an idiot." To race within my physical ability not my wish list. I have a big list. I am personally really looking forward to this marathon. Especially since unlike triathlons, I will be doing this whole thing with some of my closest friends around me in one big gaggle.
I will say that mentally, a marathon is a nothing distance to me. Whether that is a result of all the marathons and road races I have done since the early 1990's or my Ironman training or visualizations or just my Iron F#@king Willpower; it doesn't seem a huge hurdle for me.
The real test will be my bodies ability to handle that distance and really, truthfully, override my mind if things get tough. And if it can't, that's what my friends are there to do, make me do what my body wants, not what my mind wants. Then of course recover afterwards. And I already know that in this regard, my body will take much longer than it ever has to bounce back and I'm prepared for that.
It's exciting. I wouldn't be doing this marathon if it wasn't for my friends being there with me on the course race day and all the ones that have been there encouraging, motivating and most importantly holding me accountable throughout this whole ordeal.
Its not enough to exist. I am going to live.
For almost two years I ran as far away as I could from my competitive spirit as I could. My literal life depended on it. When I came back to training, it was purposefully uncoordinated, loose and without race specific goals. Believe it or not, I was quite happy with that. I wondered if I could become one of the mythical dudes people talk about who never raced but always surprised people in training how great I was. Chevy Chase in Caddyshack was my motivation in that. But those that know me, know that ain't me.
Admittedly it was reckless to make a marathon my first race back to being on a clock. And doing so has moved me even closer to the person I was before, though hopefully without the gigantic flaws. But I love my friends because they remind me of those flaws. It is so, so easy to get myself psyched for a race and forget what I have become. My friends keep me grounded. Boy do they keep me grounded.
Between the daily texts and the phone calls I get regular reminders to 'slow down', reminders of my 'don't kill yourself contract' I have with Mistress, others say, "are you effing nuts, you're an idiot." To race within my physical ability not my wish list. I have a big list. I am personally really looking forward to this marathon. Especially since unlike triathlons, I will be doing this whole thing with some of my closest friends around me in one big gaggle.
I will say that mentally, a marathon is a nothing distance to me. Whether that is a result of all the marathons and road races I have done since the early 1990's or my Ironman training or visualizations or just my Iron F#@king Willpower; it doesn't seem a huge hurdle for me.
The real test will be my bodies ability to handle that distance and really, truthfully, override my mind if things get tough. And if it can't, that's what my friends are there to do, make me do what my body wants, not what my mind wants. Then of course recover afterwards. And I already know that in this regard, my body will take much longer than it ever has to bounce back and I'm prepared for that.
It's exciting. I wouldn't be doing this marathon if it wasn't for my friends being there with me on the course race day and all the ones that have been there encouraging, motivating and most importantly holding me accountable throughout this whole ordeal.
Its not enough to exist. I am going to live.
2 comments:
Comm,
I will say that I am fortunate enough to know the feeling of people who are invested in what you believe in and what you want to accomplish! On that note, I personally am always there for you! Here's to reading along and staying invested in all your future endeavors. Your gonna own this marathon! ;)
We love you Comm. :-)
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