Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Streams of consciousness pour like sweat

After a long strange day I am laying in bed reading a book. Something in the book makes me suddenly want to read an online biography of Napoleon Bonaparte. This leads me to reading several battle histories which leads me to want to find the old video game Doom online and play it. Then I start looking up any old video game that I used to play to see if its free online. That gets disappointing because free clicks into pay sites. Undeterred I spend two hours of precious sleep time surfing game sites for games that I can play.

Which really sucks because I need my sleep and the last thing I need is to inflame my video game habit which could be as dangerous a drug to me as any narcotic to an addict. Just so I am clear, I don't have a real problem with video games like an addict does with crack, but I am just saying, here I am well past midnight at a computer when I should be in bed in deep REM sleep. Like mom says, "Nothing good happens after midnight." I'd be willing to push that till 2am, but the illustration stands. And I have gotten into some really tight spots well before midnight. So it might be an arbitrary time anyway.

I made my second spin class for the week and have officially terrified the women in my class. Not only did I burn just about 1000 calories, I produce prodigious sweat, a proverbial lake around my bike that was avoided at all costs when the lights came on. The grunting also did not help when the instructor said, "Give me a 10" (out of 10). I won't be able to make it back there for a couple of weeks. Till January. Oh well.

I still haven't decided what to do about racing early next year. I say I will, then I say I won't . I have been pushing myself hard for it and then wonder why I train so hard for it. I am confused. Pulled in two directions, equally tensioned along two polar opposite ends of the spectrum. I feel that either path now is a good one to follow but each has its own long term obstacles. A constant nagging that I should be able to compete against the clock but staying in denial. Or race with the knowledge I could quite suddenly lose control and charge into a dire physical scenario.

I know what I know what I know. I think....




1 comment:

Mommymeepa said...

There are gross sweaters in my class and yes we do avoid the lake at all costs when the lights come back on.

And as far as racing next year.. . you'll figure it out.