Public Interest BS

Slightly tongue in cheek and sarcastic and yet somewhat seriously, here are some of the observations I have made lately, mostly from television.

• The big three television channels refuse to show condom commercials. I have no problem with that. But why am I subjected to tampon commercials? I really have no desire to see 30 second ad's mostly sing song crap with a bouncing red dot all over the darn screen. Please stop. Really. Stop.

• Why do car commercials have to come with a banner along the lines of, "Professional driver. Closed course"? How necessary is this? You mean driving down the road in a SUV at night with three buddies is really that dangerous? Oh, right. I am supposed to assume that they are filming the commercial on a real road and its normal to drive up buildings and lights stream like a LSD trip.
  

• Along the same genre. Gee, T-Mobile, you mean you're not supporting or encouraging subscribers to cut down telephone poles with a chainsaw when they become members? I just assumed that a responsible business would not need to encourage such behavior.

• Look. I think that it is important that people understand what side effects their prescription drug may cause them, but I don't need some 25-35 year old female on screen or using a voice over telling me things such as, "rashes, incontinence, anxiety, frothing of the mouth, back spasms, sleep driving, crossed-eyes and death", may be the result of me taking something for hay fever. This is what pharmacists are for. I highly recommend them.

• Stop making commercials that force me read them. I don't want to read commercials. I don't even want to watch most of them. INXS, you caused all this with your damn video 'Mediate'. But at least you said the word written on the board. Now its just dumbed down to me having to read what they want me to for 30 seconds.

• While your at it, why are commercials three times louder than television shows? I can barely hear a conversation of something I want to watch, stop making me turn around halfway to the kitchen on a break cause the volume has now shaken the windows.
  

• In Arizona I have to sign a federal document and use ID to purchase sudafed. Yes, sudafed the cold medicine. You see, sudafed is used to make the drug crystal meth. But so is 5 gallons of window washer fluid. You ever purchase five, I said FIVE gallons of washer fluid at one shot? No. Ever buy one pack of Sudafed? Of course. The point is that there are many chemicals that are much less common purchases that go into the making of meth. I'd rather they tracked those items, like oh, gallons of battery acid. When was the last time you bought a gallon of that? Oh yeah right, never.

• I was driving in my friends Mazerati the other day. Sweet ride. Cost the same as my first mortgage. On his sun visor is a non-removable heat treated patch reminding him how to put on his seat belt correctly. Hello? Don't you think this is sort of already a part of our culture? Sure people elect not to do, it but does there have to be a permanent reminder stamped on a visor on a car that costs over $100,000? Plus every new car has that ncesant ding dong chime when you drive three feet without clipping in. I checked on my own car, its a federal crime to disingage the dummy chime or dummy light.
  

• On local morning news shows, female metoerologists always stay in studio but the men spend a few hours a week going to locations like public school and small businesses. Female forecasters we are supposed to be taken seriously, male forecasters are supposed to make us laugh. How sad. Male forecasters are the circus clowns of the morning news.

• Aside from actress Jane Lynch (manager in 40 Year old Virgin, dog trainer in Best in Show) who can do no wrong, I can't stand the commercials for Glee, the new summer series on FOX. This show looks horrible and sounds horrible. Like most glee clubs it will sound cool and then die a quick, shamefull death because it's not cool. In real life the people that are in glee clubs are the ones that can't make it onto the cheerleading squad, band or choir. That's why it's a club and not an activity worthy of a varsity letter. A word of advice, no one is every going to tap into high school agnst and adversity like Freaks And Geeks. Even if the high schools in both shows have the same name.