Isn't it funny how we vividly remember certain things or people? An endurance friend related a funny story involving his running buddy while they ran a recent half marathon. When I heard the name of his friend I immediately wondered if this was the same person who ten years ago at a then popular running store sold me a pair Saucony Grid Triumphs that destroyed my feet. I don't use the word often but I hated those shoes. To this day I despise Saucony.
I don't hate the employee, not at all. Yet for some reason, I remember this guys name from our only interaction on a pair of shoes I cannot bemoan enough. Conversely, I have been going to Road Runners Sports for the last year and have bought two great pairs of shoes from a very knowledgeable employee and I couldn't tell you his name to save my life.
I decided to think about the last couple of items I bought that I 'wanted' or really liked. Trust me I don't have to go back far in my memory for that. Less than a week. Can't remember a single persons name that assisted me. Yet I know off the top of my head that when Jim calls me from the auto shop, he is going to tell me I need to pay $300 to fix the car. But he'll ultimately charge me $400 and somehow kick me in the nuts without me seeing it happen.
Do people tend to remember the traumatic instances in their life more clearly than the happy, joyous events. I don't remember my wedding very well, but I know my new bride almost killed me when I shoved cake in her face. My parents still recall the look of death she gave me.
Maybe I suffer that old American truism of loving the underdog. After all my races, I tend to remember the ones that were hard over the ones that were easy. The ones were I had bloody nipples or twisted my ankle. I recall the Ironman that I didn't finish over the ones that I did. I have watched every Superbowl for 20 years yet the one I remember the absolute clearest is when that a referee stole the game from the Seahawks and handed it to the Steeleers.
So I ask, do people forget good memories and recall bad memories because we are masochistic or there is a sense of being incomplete or unfulfilled that trumps happiness. I don't know about all that but I know I will never, ever, ever where Saucony's again. Man I hated that shoe.
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Yes, it is a documented fact that we remember bad events more than we do good ones. The "fear of loss" has a multiplier effect of approximately 3:1 over the "desire for gain." in some studies - I think those are a good proxy for bad/good experiences. Pain tends to also last longer than happiness; and is more enduring. I don't know why this is - but it seems to be true in my experience and in that which I have read.
I think the take away is that our default mode (in our unawakened state) is to focus on pain - a focus on happiness and goodness then are then clearly a conscious choice that we must make.
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