Yesterday I wrote about a hike up to the flatiron on Superstition Springs Mountain that despite my preparations, left me with heat injury.
Aside from the continued reflection of where this leaves me in any sort of endurance pursuits, I have come to to think that my body's are like a battery of energy. And even though we can increase the capacity of our battery, if you short that battery enough times, or drain it down to empty often enough, that eventually you will not be able to get a full charge on it.
I just feel like...I feel like....sigh, I have all this passion in me to do things and live a full life like I used to and now, and now I can't. My own body cheating me from the happiness that mentally I crave. Not the all consuming happiness of the generic father/husband/son/work success but the 'seize the day and throttle the shit out of it' happiness.
The sole comfort is that I did this to myself living that life. I just expected it go another 20 years, at least. And I am still hopeful that it will.
Aside from the continued reflection of where this leaves me in any sort of endurance pursuits, I have come to to think that my body's are like a battery of energy. And even though we can increase the capacity of our battery, if you short that battery enough times, or drain it down to empty often enough, that eventually you will not be able to get a full charge on it.
I just feel like...I feel like....sigh, I have all this passion in me to do things and live a full life like I used to and now, and now I can't. My own body cheating me from the happiness that mentally I crave. Not the all consuming happiness of the generic father/husband/son/work success but the 'seize the day and throttle the shit out of it' happiness.
The sole comfort is that I did this to myself living that life. I just expected it go another 20 years, at least. And I am still hopeful that it will.
6 comments:
Commodore - there's no telling what you might be able to do if you would just lay off for a really extended period of time. Like 3 years. The body has amazing restorative powers but it takes a long, long time. I'm sure you could find something physical that would give you great satisfaction in the mean time. Endurance and pushing yourself the the brink of failure are not the only game in town. You need, to use a hackneyed phrase, a paradigm shift on what constitutes living large. I'm sure you'll find something.
I second that comment...
21stCenturyMom strikes me as wise in this.
And yes, I know that you didn't set out on your hike to push yourself hard.
21stCenturyMom strikes me as wise in this.
And yes, I know that you didn't set out on your hike to push yourself hard.
Ditto all above!
Dude
The Draw in August? Brutal. Next time take me with you!
Love that hike.
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