Since the last time I deigned this site I know I have never been so sick for so long from basic illnesses in my life. True Story. Late January a sinus infection. Script didn't help. Mid February, a secondary infection. Script didn't help. Mid February again, bronchitis. First of March, Influenza. The real McCoy, not the term used as hyperbole for telling people how bad you had it. I literally spent days in bed, no tv, no book, no lights, no radio. Just me, my hot and cold flashes, flop sweat, headaches, sinuses, coughing and fevers, sleeping for hours at a time. When was the last time you were so sick you couldn't even listen to a tv in the background. Ugh.
I've been healthy for a couple weeks now, but its been hard to get any workouts going. I wish I could admit I feel too weak or whatever but truth is, I just don't feel like it. Something in me has snapped mentally and I need to get it back. I go for a run but I can't stay inside my head. I can't stand listening to the conversations going on up there. The questions I don't want to answer, the topics that throw me off my stride.
It will all turn around. I can plan a workout, I can think about a workout. I can see myself working out. I just can't stand listening to my conversation in my head when I do it. Like the most annoying, worst workout partner in the world.
I've always wished that I had the type of body that lost weight when I got sick or stopped working out. Sadly no and a pox on all my friends that lament they've lost ten pounds when they stopped working out. I've gained about seven pounds since the beginning of the year.
I've been trying to catch up on some home projects, so over the next couple posts I will be typing those up rather than discussing my lack of race and training updates.
I thinking getting back onto a schedule and writing regularly will help me recalibrate my focus. Lets see....
2 comments:
Just try to remember what it was like when the doctors were telling you that you couldn't work out anymore. Grab a buddy and go for a run. I was out for 5 weeks while my knees recovered and it made me appreciate every squat, every stride, every trail, kneeling, etc. I gained 8. Now I'm half way back and I cut out all the crap I was eating during my down time.
Comm,
While I wasn't physically sick, I had been "Down and Out" for a good part of the last 2 years. Mainly caused by the stress of trying to take on too much and too many things that didn't align with my real priorities, as well as just running into some hard knocks in life. Nevertheless, I know what you are talking about - conversations in the head - and it's more than just a "I'm tired and don't wanna get outta bed early to workout" - because we all know you just get up anyway to take care of that, and you feel better about 10 min into the workout. But when the down and out haunts you even after you've gotten out and all the way through the end of the workout...it's really, really tough. I will be thinking about you, Comm. Hang in there...maybe your body just needs the rest right now. One thing I did to finally start pulling myself out of it (and I'm still not outta the woods, but I'm much better) was to accept where I was. I had gotten really sadly out of shape physically, but in my mind I still felt like I oughta be able to jump into a marathon or ironman training plan at any time. An 8 mile run was hard, but instead of being happy with a solid 8, I was beating myself up because I wasn't running 16. At one point, I had to just go back to doing some of the things that helped build my strength and endurance years ago (circuit training, 4 mile runs, spin class, etc. consistently). I also do think that there are some times in our life when we just have to go with the flow of life...and if life isn't aligning with our endurance goals at the time, maybe instead of always fighting against it, we just ride the wave through it and know the time will come again. Hug your wife and kids, get some rest and don't put too much pressure on yourself. You will be back, I have zero doubt. I'll be praying for you.
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