WSJ link on Ironman distance training and family discord.

I think aside from injury the greatest mental detriment to an endurance athlete is family tension. The article linked below does an excellent job at explaining some of the more macro concepts of this tension especially by a wife with children whose husband is training for an Ironman and other ultra endurance events. 

"A Workout Ate My Marriage" 

LINK TO WALL STREET JOURNAL ARTICLE

To be an endurance athlete connotes a certain amount of selfishness and non-conformity. I find nothing wrong with this, but I am an endurance athlete. I also rely on my wife and family for support and as I mentioned previously, a lack of family backing of your endurance pursuits makes for a short term endurance athlete. While selfish we are not narcissistic and therefore when confronted by an endurance intervention by the spouse or family we go with family first over divorce. The WSJ mentions this.  My own empirical evidence supports this. 

The article however treats endurance training, specifically for Ironman, as some sort of drug addiction that  must be treated as a twenty hour per week defect.  This is not the case. Most Ironman athletes do not train year after year for the distance. And those that do, reach a level of fitness or personal knowledge that does not require the same amount of energy as the first iteration. Those training for their first Ironman event might very well be consumed mentally, emotionally and physically, investing most waking thoughts on the feat during the twelve months between sign up and starting line. After that, most Ironman athletes find that they have learned enough and trained enough to do the same distance on less training. I have personally seen people cut their weekly training hours in half and finish races faster than the first one. 

  

The bottom line of this article and lets face it, real life, is unrealistic expectations based on lack of communication within the family. The bottom line is that if endurance athletes do not involve their loved ones in the goal, then articles like the Wall Street Journals will continue to be written, and putting endurance training in poor light. 

I have written over and over regarding the Training Contract I have with my wife each season.  For Ironman we first committed to each other that I would do the race and it fit our budget all the way around for entry fee, gear and travel. Then we argued over everything from how many days a week I could get up before the sun to train and sleeping in so she woke up next to me (same issue in the WSJ article). We wrote in the fact that when I reminded her Friday night that I was riding a 100 miles Saturday she couldn't roll her eyes, get passive-aggressive or undermine my training by pleading a family commitment. 

Endurance athletes obsess about their training plan but verbalizes poorly to others which often leads to relationship turmoil. Part of our Contract states that at the beginning of each week I will write down my workout plan on our bathroom mirror in dry erase marker. It will include the day and estimated time of workout, what the workout is with distance or time, who it might be with and where. Then updated daily after completed. Furthermore, when it is written out ahead of time, the family can review for possible conflict and workaround. 

My wife cannot ignore my training and if she sees any conflicts that were not already established in the Contract we can discuss it. However, I would not change my training with less than 24 notice unless it conformed to an already established training hiatus like spouse work emergency or family momentous occasion. Birthdays and (actual) holidays I had to figure something out for the families benefit but I did not have to rearrange my usual long Saturday ride for my son's football game unless they made the play offs which we would not know when we made the contract. 

In summary, the WSJ writes a good article from the Iron Widow perspective but it does not adequately balance the athletes perspective. Nor does it address ways to bridge the gap between the endurance athletes goals and the time demands from the family.